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Passions in Poetry

wake

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suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


0 posted 01-19-2012 08:04 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for suthern

Drape me in black as I go to my rest,
Lay one yellow rose softly on my breast,
Feed me to flames till my body's consumed,
Pretend you will miss me 'fore you resume
The life that's seduced you away from me.
Just grieve - you're so good at hypocrisy.

You are now so shallow. Can you recall
When you were my soulmate, I was your all,
When being with me satisfied your needs,
When we were one unit in heart and deeds,
When you stood tall, a giant of a man
Simply because I was holding your hand?

For you, I embraced a supporting role.
I gave all I had, bankrupted my soul.
Remember when I had dreams of my own?
Now I'm nothing more than a withered crone
And can barely breathe, still I smell her scent.
It clings to your skin, one final torment.

Oh, I've always known. I wasn't deceived
As you desecrated all I'd believed
To be between us. I wasn't enough
When you felt summoned by some piece of fluff -
A bit of eye candy meant more than me.
You've not been the man I thought you would be.

With no cameras here to watch you weep,
You've dropped mask of mourn. I see, as you sleep,
A mere trace of the man I once admired
Remains in the face I loved and desired -
Void of sincerity. How well I know
Your being here now is simply for show.

Now it's almost time for my final breath;
I'm tired of this earth and ready for death.
Drape me in black as I go to my rest,
Lay one yellow rose softly on my breast.
What was is no more - go on without me
And grieve - you're so good at hypocrisy!
© Copyright 2012 suthern - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Rara Avis
since 02-06-2011
Posts 9592
South Louisiana


1 posted 01-19-2012 08:19 AM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2

Okay. This is a full-fledged, number 1 hit. Everything about it made me cringe, as it was supposed to. The rhyming scheme was OUTstanding, and the prose within devastating.

I'm saving this.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways ~*~
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 02-08-2003
Posts 21103
Eternity


2 posted 01-19-2012 08:38 AM       View Profile for Margherita   Email Margherita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Margherita

... trying to return to normal breathing ... well, dear Ruth, this hurts, it hurts much, it's ever so dark and cynic.

Excellent work, my friend, as it grabbed me so hard! Yet, you know me and therefore you will accept my wish for you to be able to re-dream your dreams and manifest them, there is always time and it is now. Time to be yourself and to live your life to the fullest. You are on your way, not to the grave, but to a radiant re-birth.

Love
Margherita
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


3 posted 01-19-2012 08:46 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

I can promise you, that I have felt every word of your poem before; I have, however, never been able to express it in a way that comes close to this.  I've always admired your ability to write poetry with such a poignant story, where the rhyme and meter add to it rather than detract from it.  Amazing.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 01-19-2012 08:47 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

JP: Wow... thank you very much!!! My employers may insist I come down to earth, but your comments certainly set my spirits soaring! *S*

Margherita: I'm glad to say that this isn't about me, sweet lady, though I did have to be in a sorrowful frame of mind to hear the words. *S* But if it's dark and cynical and hurts, I have hope I've done its inspiration justice. *S* Thank you so very much!

[This message has been edited by suthern (01-19-2012 09:49 AM).]

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


5 posted 01-19-2012 08:49 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Nicole: I think (and type) so slowly I missed your response. *S* Thank you very much... though I'm sorry anyone's had to live through such situations/feelings. *S*
bel1e
Senior Member
since 07-24-2006
Posts 1518


6 posted 01-19-2012 11:01 AM       View Profile for bel1e   Email bel1e   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bel1e

The beauty of poetry is in the magic it has to take you out of yourself for a bit... and when you get dropped back in, you're different – you're stronger, you’ve seen more, you've felt more. Poems that achieve this are like spiritual currency...and not for nothing...but this one here is a jackpot....

just. wow.

~write-on~

             

jwesley
Member Ascendant
since 04-30-2000
Posts 6414
Texas . . .


7 posted 01-19-2012 11:20 AM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

I agree with all the above, my friend ... awesome write. You've done yourself, and whomever contributed to the misery that provided the words, proud, and then some...

Much ejoyed, and grateful it's not about you...

j.
JL
Member Ascendant
since 04-01-2004
Posts 5938
Texas, USA


8 posted 01-19-2012 12:47 PM       View Profile for JL   Email JL   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JL

A living wake, what could be more humiliating
and painful than something like this.
A tough and dreadful situation that you put into words and verse so well.  
Heartbreaking, Ruth.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 03-19-2001
Posts 13647
West Coast


9 posted 01-19-2012 01:34 PM       View Profile for Dark Stranger   Email Dark Stranger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Stranger

Ms Suthern...you are the birthing of life with your pen...the living of life with your poetry even with this topic..enjoyed you lady
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


10 posted 01-19-2012 03:19 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

For all you haved touted the power of my poetry, I must say few things have ever moved me like the reading of this piece did.  This is exquisite, not only in form, but the deep cutting into of the soul.  I feel it... Truly.

Michael
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8010
So. El Monte, California


11 posted 01-19-2012 05:45 PM       View Profile for Marchmadness   Email Marchmadness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marchmadness

What can I say...Never tick off a poet?
Great write, Ruth, I hope it helps you to renew.
                            Ida
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8010
So. El Monte, California


12 posted 01-19-2012 05:46 PM       View Profile for Marchmadness   Email Marchmadness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marchmadness

That's not what I really wanted to say but I was censored.
                                Ida
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


13 posted 01-20-2012 03:38 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

heartfelt write suthern, felt your torment, pain and the agony of the love once lived and now torn with betrayal and heartache
~hugs~

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                        — W. E. Channing

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 01-20-2012 11:14 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Ruth, my dear friend,
I don't think you could have plunged
the guilt any deeper.

Great write!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


15 posted 01-21-2012 11:18 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Oh wow Ruth, you nailed that! I could feel the cut deep down and would not want to be the one who was on the receiving end of those sentiments. Beautifully expressed, powerful and right to the point. Wonderful job, much enjoyed this!

Best wishes,
/Kit
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


16 posted 01-23-2012 11:13 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

bel1e - That's my definition of poetry... which means that your response means so much to me... thank you!!

jwesley: So am I, my friend... so am I! *S* And I hope I did justice to her suffering and humiliation... thank you!

JL: That's it exactly! *S* Thank you so much for your understanding and kind comments!!

DS: I appreciate your wonderful words more than I can say... thank you! *S*

Michael: Since I will continue to tout the power of your poetry and the way it moves me, you couldn't have offered a greater compliment. *S* Thank you so much!!

Marchmadness and tracie: It is from the heart and the situation angered me. But while I'm sure my own life colored my perception, this isn't my story, it's observation of another's... Thank you so very much!!

Sunshine: I'm not sure some people are capable of feeling guilt. *S* Thank you so much!!!

Kit: Thank you so much!! It's such a treat to see your name... to then read your wonderful response is icing on the cake! *S*

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