»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #47
»
Vahnipatana...Entering The Fire
| Open Poetry #47 |
|
Vahnipatana...Entering The Fire |
|
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Vahnipatana---वह्निपतन, Sanskrit--Self immolation, or entering the fire.  Another again, Orange yellow-cut Bleeding hot colors; She flint-he steel- Iron striking rock Starting flare enough To melt obsidian. Rain talks In streaks But wet words lose meaning, Passing Through onfire Fabric, Cannot speak Loud enough; The inferno steams Her mind shield- Fogged, it goes to flames That no rain can put out. Pistons connected, By wrist pins, To crankshaft hips That turn concentric, Frictioning-cylinder thrusts Lilith inspired, Slow at first burning Diesel, then gas That explodes in her face; She begs him fee Of several mort petite. The sacrificial lambs Try to transcend evil But human guile is ruse Is not jive When sulfur smoke rises, It's too late to escape.. The stairway burns Away beneath them. No rail to hold- Arriving at the top - flames..absolve Into banality; Icarus falling ash Is the price Of after climax. ************************************************ note...The picture was the prompt for this poem. [This message has been edited by ice (01-08-2012 10:08 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2012 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Entering the fire, indeed! Love the picture, and the imagery is unique and full of awesome. "She begs him fee Of several mort petite." Little deaths...clever, you |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Whoa! I love it when a picture can inflame a poet and their best comes to the forefront. This is a marvelous poem. You kept the line-by-line suspense active and in your face. I would have had to look up mort petite if Nicole hadn't mention it. Nice touch. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wow...you have outdone yourself once again! Wonderful work, my friend. |
||
|
bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
poor poor Icarus in his hubris...this is some passionate $--t, dearest iceman...and I mean that in the best way possible...my eyebrows singed as I leaned in close to the screen to read!!!!! mercy, poet~~*~*~*~ XOXOXOX |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Nicole I am sure you are aware that the phrase is " petite mort" But it sounded better backwards....:-) Thank you * JP The picture was put up as a prompt in a poetry contest... I think I came in second, but I can't really remember. Glad Nicole mentioned that, not a lot of people know what that implys.. Thanks for reading. * Sunny I am the only person that I compete with, in reality... although this poem was from a contest I was challenged to enter. Love the "Wow"...Thanks for reading. * Bel1e-B.G. I always felt bad for Icarus, but like the woman in the picture, Out of shear exiliration, they both flew too close to the sun. The poem was written to singe eyebrows, and warm other parts. Glad you liked it. |
||
|
bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
Well Damn....if u came in 2 nd...the winning poem must have melted the reader on impact....for the love of god, man....you're the winner in my....terrible blue book! Xoxoxo..... |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Impressive and haunting in its intensity, dear Ford! You certainly deserved to be the winner ...! Margherita |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Bel1e I only enter contests that I am invited to write in. This contest was put on by a published poet from South Africa.. I did it to get a critique from her...she liked the poem, I am happy to say. * Margherita The intensity is there-- felt the greatest, after the fact of action "When sulfur smoke rises It's (it is) too late to escape." Thank you for reading, and the reply. |
||
|
JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"When sulfur smoke rises, It's too late to escape.." Yep. Can't argue that. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
My dear Ford, second is akin to singe... again, I enjoyed. |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Not First? hmmm! I wonder that it took second instead. It's powerful and emotive, which caused a painful sort of reaction to engulf me, too, in the raw passion you pen. I understood, but the imagery took me somewhere else, and I felt as if I were watching 9-ll again. My throat went dry and I stopped breathing for a moment, blinking back a little rain myself! Fabulous poetry!  ~KL |
||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I have always felt sorry for Icarus too. However, he tried. I wonder if some only feel if they go up in flames. What a wonderful picture . It is incredible and your poem really does it justice. Great work, ice. A |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
JL, Sunny, Klassy I guess I didn't get back here to thank you for reading this, and your comments...:-) But I thank you all now. And, thank you Alison for bringing this back up, and also for your thoughtful reply. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
