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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » gracies notes
Open Poetry #47
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
0 posted 2012-01-02 02:23 PM


She wrote whispers on the wall so only the wind could see her fall

She had a light red scratch along her inner thigh, the one she scratched as she climbed towards the western wall.

Her eyes until sun
Forging the sea for the light to be a inner peace

A shadow between the light and dark
Gracefully, she slept, autumns weep
© Copyright 2012 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
Michael
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2012-01-02 03:27 PM

This was filled with some deep imagery.  Loved the first line.

Michael
Word Weaver
Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437
California, USA
2 posted 2012-01-02 03:41 PM

Very deep and very, very good.
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
3 posted 2012-01-02 04:08 PM

I must agree with the above.
Very deep thinking.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
4 posted 2012-01-03 12:51 PM

Thanks, Michael.  Happy you enjoyed..hope you're doing well.

Cheers
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
5 posted 2012-01-03 12:51 PM

Thanks, Word.  Appreciate the support

Cheers
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
6 posted 2012-01-03 12:54 PM

JL,

I appreciate the comment.  I can only hope such is true about the piece.  Take care

Cheers
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2012-01-03 02:51 PM

Beautiful imagery!
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2012-01-03 03:08 PM

Gracie’s note, what seems like the 4th poem in a series of 4 poems, to explain why she took her life, but it is an imaginary note whispered to the wall before she left for the bridge.  The autumns of her years into which she blended so well, weep at her passing.

The pathos and irony of a mere scratch on the inside of her thigh in comparison of her death grabs me round the throat.

Whether I have misinterpreted what I saw as a series of 4 poems and whether I have also misinterpreted the details of each individual poem, they are all exquisite and enigmatic works of art.

Owl
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
9 posted 2012-01-08 02:06 AM

Thanks, Mysteria...happy you enjoyed.

Cheers
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
10 posted 2012-01-08 02:07 AM

Owl,

You have not misunderstood the poems, just the fact that they are not a part of a series.  I always enjoy your insight...appreciate the comments.  Take care

Cheers
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