Winter Oppression (from the Poetry Workshop)

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Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2011-12-08 11:36 PM

As winter ice chills the light
Dark hued curtains smother bright
Frosted paintings cover trees
Bending branches to bared knees
Forever etched black and white
As winter ice chills the light

When darkened shadows steal the sun
When morning shimmer light succumbs
A hopeful dream that cannot sate
It longs for darkness to abate
And prays that winter comes undone
When darkened shadows steal the sun

-

Alison

Note: I wrote this in the Poetry Workshop and have had a lot of fun in there. Working with Balladeer has been a true treat and he has helped me grow as a poet. I continue to learn and have fun over there.

C'mon and join us. It truly is painless and fun.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2011-12-09 09:06 AM

Very nice writing, Alison!!

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2011-12-09 10:16 AM

Wonderful write, my friend, and while it may be fun in the poetry workshop I never learned all the "english" that goes into structured poetry and have no desire to spend the next 5 years doing so - just to write something that rhymes or suites the little 'bouncing ball'.

I do have fun reading what you guys come up with though and often browse the workshop and laugh at the 'slaughter' going on - and am amazed by the final product.

j.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2011-12-09 05:24 PM

This is very nice, dear Alison. I have just spent some time reading about this "Envelope" kind of poem in the workshop, just to understand how it has to be done. It's not so easy and as for me I am not patient enough to give it a try, but I very much enjoyed your perfect result!

Love,
Margherita

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

4 posted 2011-12-09 05:57 PM

I like the imagery here. And yeah, one can learn alot from Balladeer... maybe I'll peek in there again soon.

Michael

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

5 posted 2011-12-11 10:48 AM

full of grace, I love your poetry alison

yann

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

6 posted 2011-12-11 12:36 PM

Like Margherita, I lack patience but admire yours and your finished product.
Ida

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

7 posted 2011-12-13 01:27 PM

Oooh nice, I like that!! such imagery!

"...Never regret anything that made you smile..."

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

8 posted 2011-12-14 12:02 PM

"Bending branches to bared knees"

great lines Alison and I like the form very much.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

9 posted 2011-12-14 12:12 PM

Is there any wonder why she is the teacher's favorite???

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

10 posted 2011-12-18 05:02 PM

well done !

If I ever have a sick or 'broken down' poem ...
I'll consider sending it to a 'workshop'!

[I only typically do 'verse libre' unless
picking up the gauntlet of some specific
'poetry challenge'; etc.]

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

11 posted 2011-12-22 12:29 PM

This reply's gonna require a deep breath.

JL,

Thank you for reading and for taking the time to let me know that you are here.  Merry Christmas.

xoxoxo
A

-

Jimmy, my friend ~

I love knowing that you peek in the PW and read.  I know we don't all want to write there - it just brings me so much pleasure that I have to gush now and then.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Hugs,
Alison

-

Margherita,

Patience is so over-rated.  You are loving and that is so much more important.  I think that going there to learn about new poetic forms is important too.  Thank you for all you give to me.

Merry Christmas.

Love,
Alison

-

Michael,

I do hope that you do.  I will definitely learn from you.  As I do now.  Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

xoxoxo
A

-

Ida,

Another personality trait that you share with our Margherita is a gentle friendship.  It's very special.  Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

Love,
Alison

-

dgv,

Thank you.  I have missed you lots and am happy to see you back among us.

Merry Christmas.

xoxoxo
A

-

Kate,

Thank you.  Your words always mean a great deal to me.

Merry Christmas.

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Ah, Balladeer ~ there really are not enough words to express the appreciation that I feel towards you.  You are very special to me.  Merry Christmas.

& a

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Bruce,

Thank you, dear friend. Come on by - the water's fine.

xoxoxo
A

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

12 posted 2011-12-22 09:43 AM

But I've heard that Balladeer chains poets to their chairs and nudges them with red hot pokers until their da-dums stop sounding like a kid clanging on pots and pans??? LOL He SKEERS me!!! LOL

However... if he could guarantee I could write like this, I might embrace the pain... where do I sign up for the talent transplant??? LOL

Seriously, dear Alison... this is beautiful!!

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

13 posted 2011-12-28 02:36 AM

Pssst - suthern, the chaining part is fun. The poker part ain't so hot.

Become one with the pain and come join us.

become
one
with
pain

become
one
with
pain

become
one
with
pain

become
one
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