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JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

0 posted 2011-10-15 01:06 PM

Awareness and Fear

Tonight we swim...

Alone, silent, in eerie darkness.
Plight swells on imagination,
green illumination.
Painted faces, departing souls,
creeping within the jungle’s flora,
hidden as chameleon’s sons.

Lessons learned now revealed
external covering of a poacher skin...

Looking down range counting
klicks with precision soon to find,
as moonlight dances
between effervescent trees
and peering effervescent creatures
watching, as if aware even more…

Drawn breath echoes within an inner ear,
awareness and fear echoed with cold sweat.
Soon somewhere a fatherless child,
wife’s no husband’s farewell,
an unanticipated loneliness tonight.
Now, now…
whispered with no tears,
seamless continuity,
no breach, report and clear.

Downing a frozen bitter chill,
a taste swallowed,
understood, and confined,
quiet patience unmoving breath,

In the blur of a dream
skilled trade done,
completed tasks –
regroup back with wolves of the dark,
a retreating pack,
nervously whispering, ‘well-done’,
‘well done’…

Thoughts recollected from
current application, a moment,
never to be undone,
or ever erased from minds so young.
Young boys as men,
sometimes pretend,
and not to be dismayed ever again.

Beyond thoughts,
a burning soul,
alone –
a tear,
something this pack
must never hear…

Repeat, repeat.
Always ready,
always alert,
never forget,
awareness and fear.
***

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2011-10-15 01:57 PM

This took me to "and there but by the grace of God go I" and horrors of war. It pushed every button I have on the subject....
They call that well done...even if that wasn't where you intended to go. You took me on a very powerful and unpleasant trip.

Excellent write.

Lori

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

2 posted 2011-10-16 09:23 PM

Thanks for reading Lori, and your reply is most appropriate.
JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2011-10-17 08:47 AM

never to be undone,
or ever erased from minds so young.

This took my breath away... Powerful, poignant write!

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

4 posted 2011-10-19 12:14 PM

Thanks suthern.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

bslicker

Member Elite

since 2000-12-04

Posts 2321
state of mind

5 posted 2011-10-27 03:18 AM

enjoyed

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

6 posted 2011-10-27 02:18 PM

Much insight in your poem, appreciated,
ms. e

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

7 posted 2011-10-27 09:52 PM

"Painted faces, departing souls,
creeping within the jungle’s flora, ..."

You built around this well, my friend, and put one there...

well done, well done.

j.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

8 posted 2011-10-29 12:08 PM

I held my breath while reading your impressive and heartwrenching poem, dear JL.

Oh, those moments must be beyond what we can imagine, yet your words made me tremble inside.

Margherita

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

9 posted 2011-10-29 03:22 PM

quote:
Beyond thoughts,
a burning soul,
alone –
a tear,
something this pack
must never hear…

Love that stanza, I so can relate to that. Great depictions throughout. Truly enjoyable.

Michael

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