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Open Poetry #47
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suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2011-09-25 07:58 PM


With feeble steps, I made descent
My lack of protest was consent
To be subjected to torment
I saw too late need to repent
In depths of hell I now reside
I cannot hide
I cannot hide

From a minor indiscretion
Through most greatly rued transgression
Each mistake finds its expression
Cracked lips murmur my confession
A litany of sins I voice
I have no choice
I have no choice

Broken, bowed by sad narration
I beg and plead for cessation
From the constant flagellation
But face still more desolation
All thoughts of better days have fled
My hope is dead
My hope is dead

No matter how much I cajole
I am no longer in control
There is no way to be made whole
Forever suffering's my role
And I am doomed to this refrain
Of endless pain
Of endless pain

© Copyright 2011 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2011-09-25 08:11 PM


And now you're breaking my heart, Ruth.  Exquisitely sad.  ((HUGS)) dear friend.


Michael

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2011-09-25 08:15 PM


LOVE the way you put this dirge together, suthern, my kind of in your fact poetry. Yes. I'm putting this sucker in my library. Thank you for the read, I thoroughly enjoyed this lament.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
3 posted 2011-09-25 09:04 PM


Ah yes, we all are so close to this desperate place and this Dirge could be our song.  But we have a choice to accept divine forgiveness and live, forever.
-------

Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her works praise her in the gates.
~Pro 31:30-31 JPS (Jewish Publication Society Bible).

Excellent write suthern.


JL  




Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!


[This message has been edited by JL (09-26-2011 06:03 AM).]

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
4 posted 2011-09-26 06:45 AM


Hopelessness and lack of control; I can't think of much worse than that.  Such a sad, sad dirge.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2011-09-26 08:25 AM


Dear Ruth, as a lament this is one of the most heartwrenching ones I have ever come across of. It reflects the depth of sadness and despair that is present in any repenting soul.

Great poetic deed!

You know my opinion ... the light is stronger than the darkness, there is no such thing as eternal suffering.

Love,
Margherita

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2011-09-26 03:54 PM


Michael: Your hugs are greatly appreciated, dear friend... thank you so very much! *S*

Jerry: Thank you! I consider something saved to be a great compliment!

JL: I think my muse was inspired by "what if" my sins weren't paid for... Thank you very much! *S*

Nicole: Thank you very much!

Margherita: Thank you so much, sweet lady... you are so generous with your kind words. *S*

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
7 posted 2011-09-26 04:16 PM


Well tell that muse to cut-it-out...
You are way too sweet for that.

JL


Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2011-09-26 04:57 PM


Ms Suthern. Shall I spank it all better?

Very well done lady.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
9 posted 2011-09-28 03:28 PM


JL: She's not easy to control! LOL If I try to redirect her, she sulks and withholds words... and I'm rather fond of writing. *S* Thank you so much... I appreciate the return visit! *S*

Dark: LOL... I honestly hadn't considered that option! LOL Thank you, kind sir!! *S*

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2011-09-29 09:57 AM


Suthern, I've read this a few times now...
and when something keeps calling me back,
then I have to deem IT
a


ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
11 posted 2011-09-29 10:20 AM


You, Ms. Suthern, have written one of the best poems I've read about despair. Thank you for your poem.
You are more precious than rubies, more finer than gold.
ms. e

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

12 posted 2011-09-30 07:35 AM




            (((((((((((You))))))))))))))


Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

13 posted 2011-09-30 10:58 AM


Well done!
luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

14 posted 2011-09-30 02:08 PM


ok, I must admit to being a free style addict.....I find very few rhyming poems are readable...but I found myself very much enjoying the style this was written in.  The rhyming second to the deepness of thought....oh yes...yes  I know this is about you......and I am very good at turning the subject's direction...lol..I very much enjoyed this write about despair...though despair can be lifted with just the right word from a subsequent o&o....
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
15 posted 2011-09-30 02:17 PM


A sad dirge, Ruth, but an excellent poem.
                                 Ida

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2011-10-01 11:03 AM


Sunshine: To be a keeper for you is compliment indeed... thank you! *S*

Ms e: When I doubt myself and doubt my words, I'll just read your wonderful response again and again and find belief. Thank you so much... you really touched my heart. *S*

Richy: Gratefully accepted... thank you! *S*

Krawdad: Thank you very much!

luminosity: You are the other half of my teepee, sweet lady... we may lean, but together, we're strong enough to stand. *S* From the bottom of my heart I thank you. *S*

Ida: The sadness is what titled it. *S* Thank you so much!!

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