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Open Poetry #47
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California

0 posted 2011-09-23 07:51 PM


SCABS


Hanging from hands tied overhead,
Silence should seem a balm.
But if I’ve learned one thing at all,
It’s not to trust dead calm.
Down the corridor I was lead
With pokes and sneers and jibes,
To be strapped up before a wall
No word really describes.

I heard the whip – a split second
That seemed to last forever
Took place – before it peeled the skin
And left the flesh dissevered.
Then, as if by stillness beckoned
From the very depths of hell,
Came the whooshing and the crack again
That struck the soul as well.

Around the back, crossing the chest,
And ending next the heart…
Over and over and over again
I, piece by piece, fell apart.
But then silence, so sweetly blessed,
Descended upon me,
As if atonement for my sin
Could somehow set me free.

I wallowed in the seeming bliss –
Felt my wounds being licked,
And rested for I did not know
I was but being tricked.
These scabs my Judas stopped to kiss,
Then quickly ran away.
Though I from this wall did not go,
And remain to this day.

Feeling the whip cracking once more –
The future in the past portrayed.
In skin and scabs and flesh and bone
On my wall, proudly displayed.
My Judas watching from the floor
Of shadowed ambivalence,
Where worry and false pity shown
Never allay the suspense.

And so I bide my time each night,
Waiting scabs to be repealed…
Knowing home is myth and hope a lie
That the day may never yield.
And dream, an idiom, a site
To which I wish I were blind.
For what man is allowed to die
To such an unforgiving mind?



Michael Anderson

Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turned round walks on,
And turns no more his head...


Coolridge

© Copyright 2011 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2011-09-23 09:58 PM


So many things come to mind, but the very first thing (not always the best, I've found) but yeah, the first thing I thought of was the old, "purification by pain" ritual...

But fear not, I'm too tired to analyze either of us. (But have ya ever tried going a week without a rationalization? )<--I'm working that line to death these days.

*hearthugs* lovie...

and I hope we both sleep well.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2011-09-23 11:19 PM


Fine writing...James
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
3 posted 2011-09-24 08:21 AM


"For what man is allowed to die
To such an unforgiving mind?"

Excellent write, the closing line says it all.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2011-09-24 12:40 PM


This poem is painful to read as it is tremendously poignant in its extreme identification with Christ's suffering.

Masterfully written, dear Michael.

Now relax into the safety of God's infinite Love and Mercy. You have no reason to flagellate yourself like this, you need no "purification ritual" (like Karen I thought of it too ...). You are transparent and beautiful like the purest water springing from its divine well.

Love and peace, Poet!
M


ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
5 posted 2011-09-24 07:44 PM


Forgiveness is powerful, we don't use it enough,
enjoyed your poem, ms .e

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2011-09-24 10:48 PM


Around the back, crossing the chest,
And ending next the heart…
Over and over and over again
I, piece by piece, fell apart.
But then silence, so sweetly blessed,
Descended upon me,
As if atonement for my sin
Could somehow set me free.

I wallowed in the seeming bliss –
Felt my wounds being licked,
And rested for I did not know
I was but being tricked.

Two words I normally wouldn't put together seem to be the perfect description for the torment and betrayal you've written so brilliantly... exquisite agony.

First I forgot to breathe... then breath was just a ragged gasp.

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 2011-09-25 03:07 PM


Karen, I wonder if purification by pain can be undertaken subconsciously?  Intriguing thought...

I think analysis of either of us might prove a horrific case study for anyone feeling inclined to attempt such a ritual.  Best of luck if you ever seem up to it.  

James, thank you.

JL, I'm glad you enjoyed.

Margherita, peace huh?  One day, I hope.

ms e.  I couldn't agree with you more.

Ruth, breathing is fundamental I've heard it said...  I have my doubts though.


OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2011-09-26 01:04 AM


Michael

I have time for only 1 reply right now and I choose to make it to this poem of yours.

I get a (free) message each day from the God's Minute website (in case you or anyone else also wants to as well the website is http://www.godsminute.com)  and this one, I really want to pass on to you.  I know you know you are blessed, and I know you have acknowledged to me that you are prepared to forgive yourself, but perhaps the following God's Minute message will help (I have put your name in place of mine - I am not pretending that the pastor knows you - but then, the letter is not from the pastor, it is from God Almighty to you anyway):

A LETTER FROM YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER!

The following words come from the heart of God.  After all God loves you, and He is the Father you have been looking for all your life.  This is His Love Letter to you!

My Dear Child, Michael,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Ps 139:1)
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2)
I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-30)
For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)
In me you live and move and have your being.  For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28)
I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16)
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26)
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)
And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Psalm 71:6)
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. (John 8:41-44)
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (I John 4:16)
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (I John 3:1)
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (I John 3:7)
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Matthew 7:11)
For I am the perfect Father. (Matthew 5:48)
Every good gift you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)
For I am your provider and I meet your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33)
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18)
And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)
For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5)
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)
For if you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
So, Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
For it is I who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13)
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.  (Ephesians 3:20)
For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11)
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. And I will take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.(Revelation 21:3-4)
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. (John 17:23)
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. (John 17:26)
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.  (2 Corinthians 5;18-19)
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (I John 4:10)
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32)
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. (I John 2:23)
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. (Romans 8:38-29)
When it's time for you to come home I'll throw the biggest party Heaven has ever seen.  (Luke 15:7)
I have always been your Father, and will always be your Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15)
My question is....Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)
I am waiting for you. (Luke 15:11-32)

With Love, Your Father,
Almighty God

I know this will warm your day, Michael and it is my wish that you will keep it and read it often.

Owl

[This message has been edited by OwlSA (09-26-2011 01:52 AM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2011-09-26 03:55 AM


Dear Owl, I have read your reply to dear Michael (probably before him, as he must still be sleeping now ...) and I am impressed.
Beautiful and uplifting message. I have saved the site for me too and will share this message with others.
Thank you.
Love to Michael and to you
Margherita

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
10 posted 2011-09-26 07:20 PM


Margherita, I am so glad you have saved that site, and that you will share it with others.  The daily messages are so wonderfully uplifting.

Thank you for your kind words.  

Owl

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2011-09-26 07:51 PM


Michael: The jury may be out on whether breathing is fundamental, but there's no doubt that reading your poetry is vitally necessary... even when it hurts... or turns breathing into something I forget to do! *S*
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
12 posted 2011-09-26 08:05 PM


Owl,  Thank you for the link, and the letter.  Indeed it warmed my day… and probably will warm many more.  How could it not?  Without going into much detail here I need to tell you that the darkness which flows in my poetry is part of me.  It has always been there, and truth be told, I can’t imagine life without that part of me in tact.  As much sense as having to be broken to be whole may seem to lack, I do kind of view myself that way.  

I will continue to walk toward Christ.  If change is to come, He will bring it about.  


Michael

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2011-09-28 02:23 AM


Thank you for your honest and introspective reply and for your gratitude, Michael.  Smiles.  I hear and understand what you are saying, but I am asking you to (no reply required) to picture for one moment what it would be like to walk in joy - at least sometimes and even just for a few moments at a time - not just a "nice feeling" but real uplifting joy.  I have many, many sad moments all the time, but when I walk in joy it brings me such . . . (joy - durrr and lol!).  It is my contention that you owe that to yourself - not necessarily WITH somebody, but about small things - a flower, a cloud, a piece of music, perhaps - and to celebrate it as a victory - to begin with, they could be victorious battles - then as you get more proficient at it, victorious wars.  Sorry, there I go preaching again!  However, I know you will know I mean well - and there is absolutely no obligation to reply to this to me - but I would like you to ponder on it for yourself (no obligation there either).  Smiles.

Owl

shelerellaSP
Junior Member
since 2011-08-12
Posts 42

14 posted 2011-09-28 02:34 AM


I have no words of wisdom which have not yet been shared, but I just had to comment on this one!  This was so powerful that I too, think I forgot to breathe!  I clasped my hands to my mouth and read as if I was witnessing your agony live... and a writer who can do that must have more inside him than I can fathom.  I'm in awe of your talent!
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