Till The Final Poem Comes Out

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passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

0 posted 2011-09-21 01:56 AM

I caught a moth in my bathroom
to take it outside to set it free

it laid on my opened hand
like it did not want to leave me.

And then I questioned freedom,
from a jail,
from a glass,
from life or death
or God or Satan, or fail
of a last breath.

People reach out and thanks
but no thanks anyway.
This is all I've left to say.
A repeat of a sad song,
I want no tears at my grave.
And if I had to say I'm wrong,
you may hear a rave
of how nothing in life is ever wrong
just screwed up beyond explanation
of any of the great philosophers in college
where I studied revelation
and devastation

but what do you really expect from a 31 year poet
who wrote her first poem at her mom's casket?
Repeat of a history, and just knowing how
to weave a basket might be enough
to get by in life

till the final poem comes out.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2011-09-21 04:40 AM

you may hear a rave
of how nothing in life is ever wrong

And that, dear Dixie, is the truth! We live our experiences and they teach us something, we are in a learning process.

You have a beautiful heart. You are free to love unconditionally. And you have quite an amount of precious gifts to share. Thank you!

Very touching write.

Love,
Margherita

flash
Member

since 2010-11-28

Posts 213
miami beach, florida

2 posted 2011-09-21 07:43 AM

I agree Dixie with Margherita's assessment that there is no right or wrong when it comes to life's experiences. We learn as much from defeat as from victory--maybe even more.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful poetic thoughts,

Al

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

3 posted 2011-09-21 10:20 AM

Straight to the point no nonsense write here, reading your poetry is something i never tire of and never will...thank you for this one my friend..

Goldenrose.

Friendship is Love without his wings. Lord Byron.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

4 posted 2011-09-22 02:49 AM

"I caught a moth in my bathroom
to take it outside to set it free

it laid on my opened hand
like it did not want to leave me."

You should have stopped there.
Realizing:
Maybe the warmth inside of you was revealed on your palm, and made its captivity a welcomed safe place to call home.

You do have all that inside you, as most do.

Enjoyed the poem.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2011-09-22 12:18 PM

but what do you really expect from a 31 year poet
who wrote her first poem at her mom's casket?

What I've found from her, time after time through the years... intensity, compassion, creativity, variety, talent... a fascinating woman with a mighty pen. *S*

I hope that final poem is a long LONG way away!!

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

6 posted 2011-09-22 03:33 PM

Intense and well done,
enjoyed, ms. e

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

7 posted 2011-09-22 04:57 PM

I agree with much of this, Dixie. People dang well better celebrate when I'm lowered into the earth... I know I will be.

What I really liked here was the questioning of "freedom" here, and the subtle hint that the prisons we may, with or without realization, find ourselves in are likely of our own creation. At least that was my take on it. If I'm wrong, well at least you got this old brain thinking again, which I thank you for.
Michael

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

8 posted 2011-09-22 06:18 PM

Wow,this got me thinking on alot of things. The poem is truly out there and I truly enjoyed reading it.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2011-09-22 11:49 PM

Moths are attracted to light.

Loved this one, Dixie dear.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

10 posted 2011-09-26 08:07 PM

Like all of your poems, passing shadows, you are adept at philosophizing and getting down to the nitty-gritty. And oh yeah, that's not a bad place to write your first poem.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

11 posted 2011-09-26 08:58 PM

Isn't it amazing, how something seemingly so small, can be the catalyst for such intense depth of thought and emotion. Amazing, still, when someone recognizes that and crafts it so artfully. Very much enjoyed this.

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