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Open Poetry #47
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flash
Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213
miami beach, florida

0 posted 2011-09-14 07:13 AM



Moonlit night. A time for romance. Lovers holding hands. But I am alone in my room, having broken off a long-term relationship. A sad moment for some--but with the beautiful evening unfolding, I welcome the solitude


the warmth
of my own hands. . .
winter moon

© Copyright 2011 al fogel - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2011-09-14 07:19 AM


Dear Al, I see you and feel this contentment. You surrender to what is and you know you are one with All there is, thus not needing to linger in the pain.

A sparkling little gem!

Love,
Margherita

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2011-09-14 09:59 AM


Margherita is so elequent in her replies that I think I'll just ditto that. Enjoyed
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2011-09-14 10:04 AM


Not too many people take on the haibun. When I do I tend to get much more involved. I like this shorter, concise way of doing it.

~~ "Government is not reason; it is not eloquent. It is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." --George Washington ~~

flash
Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213
miami beach, florida
4 posted 2011-09-14 01:08 PM


Thank you Margherita, Jerry , Lori:

Margherita: Yes, it was "moonlit night", a time for romance, lovers holding hands under the moon--in stark contrast to holding only my "own hands". It would seem to paint a poignant portrayal of sadness, lonliness. But I was  content being alone--welcoming the solitude--and quite at peace. I guess as our life comes to an end and the casket is lowered into our final resting place, are we all not "alone?"--holding our "own hands".

Lori: Glad you liked and shared Margherita's sentiments.

Jerry: Thanks for your generous comments. Yes, I know what you mean. I've been writing haibun for about 6 months but in the beginning I wanted to pack as much prose in as possible--until after reading up on the form, the experts say to leave a lot for the reader to contemplate. Get the Reader involved--not the poet. Show and don't tell. I try to follow this Chinese proverb when writing haibun, haiku, senryu:  "Tell me and I will forget, show me and I may remember, involve me and I will understand."--Chinese Proverb


flash

  

  

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2011-09-14 05:38 PM


Nice...James
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