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Open Poetry #47
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Night Smears
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Night Smears |
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Haf_Alive Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56High in the Sky |
i'll sit and i'll stare, not giving a care until the day that i'm there, on her front step and i'll pray and i'll fight, with all of my might. i'll cry to God all day and all night then i'll wait for a sign, for you to be mine. n when the sun breaches through, i'll be thinking of you. cause i can't stop this thinking and the feeling of sinking, when i think about sinking alone if you only knew the pain i went through just thinking of you, you'd want me there too so you could fix all my parts that have fallen apart and to finally start sharing your heart when i think of your kiss, that sweet serene bliss that i so dearly miss, i am greatly remiss cuz i had you, i felt you, i let you slip away. and i felt you were slipping before that sad day so here are some words that spill out of my brain while i think about thinking that i'm not insane i love that i miss you but wish i could kiss you, why are you still far away? i wish you could kiss me n tell me you missed me, but only in fantasies that's what you say. so i'll sit here alone, n keep checking my phone to see if you finally get it the fact that i love you, I LOVE YOU! i said it! so three million times, i've been saying these lines, to me they're more than just silly rhymes n if i could pack this with some form of power, you'd be right here hugging me in less than an hour but i can't do such things i'm retarded for dreaming if my heart could scream you'd dream of it screaming cause you'd hear it from so far away! but no hearts can scream n i know you don't dream... at least not of me anyway |
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| © Copyright 2011 Luke S. Heath - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Luke, your heart may not be able to scream, but most assuredly it expresses itself through your pen in a very vivid way. This is very intense and the rhythm resounds very pleasantly. I think the powerful energy your words create does reach her heart and feelings of love are never ever wasted, even if sadly not always they are requited. A beautiful heart-song! Love, Margherita "Love is the One who masters all things; |
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Haf_Alive Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56High in the Sky |
Thanks, i definitely agree that feelings like those are never wasted. how could they be when they help to express emotions with words, right? thanks again HAF |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This touches me deeply... especially the last line! I don't think we go through anything much harder than loving someone who doesn't return our love. But it's not a matter of being undeserving... don't ever forget that! |
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Haf_Alive Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56High in the Sky |
it wasn't that it wasn't reciprocated, i just took it for granted and then lost it... thanks for the feedback. glad you enjoyed it |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It's the sincerity of the emotion that makes this poem so powerful. The reader experiences all of the feelings the writer is going through. The stilted lines actually give it more power, like it's the words just tumbling out to get the feelings across. Gets an A from me  |
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Haf_Alive Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56High in the Sky |
thanks james! and thanks Balladeer. that's exactly what i was going for. huge compliment coming from such an experience poet as yourself. regards! HAF |
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