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Open Poetry #47
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luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813


0 posted 2011-08-31 02:36 PM


I thought to write, or I should say that it certainly was my intentions to think it thus,
of the woman in me that is now steeled
against the hurts inflicted by this world,
against weakness, against all
that makes her
cry.

I thought to portray her as being beyond
tears,
to illustrate her strength with metaphor
and simile

but she
thought of the need to touch
the unreachable, and the faltering
only magnified
that the distance between
has been made unbreachable

and we
both started to cry…

*found one of my last from 09 that I never posted...and so I post...with a long deep sigh


© Copyright 2011 luminosity - All Rights Reserved
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
1 posted 2011-08-31 03:33 PM


'09 was a good year for your poetry too.

Excellent write.
Enjoyed the read.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2011-08-31 09:59 PM


I can't imagine someone with so soft a heart ever becoming immune to tears... you spill caring with every drop. *S*

It is good to read you again... whatever the date on the penning! *G*

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
3 posted 2011-08-31 11:45 PM


Loved your poem, so much emotion in '09.
Ms. E

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2011-09-01 05:29 AM


quote:
but she
thought of the need to touch
the unreachable, and the faltering
only magnified
that the distance between
has been made unbreachable

and we
both started to cry…



Shared tears are really a major gift I would say.

Most captivating write.

Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
5 posted 2011-09-01 06:03 AM


Poignantly written and expressed.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2011-09-01 06:45 AM


"that the distance between
has been made unbreachable"

Lucky for us that the distance across is not wide..The crack that seperates the realities of happy and sad is very narrow, and we human beings cross back and forth many times during life.

You were on the sad side when you wrote this poem...I hope you have breached the cleft by now...

Very nice writing, you have explained your feeling well.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2011-09-01 08:49 AM


Any good woman certainly never
has only one thought, dear one...

no, a very good woman always sees
both sides, and feels very, very deeply.

As do you, as is portrayed here.

Sending huge hugs...




luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

8 posted 2011-09-01 10:15 AM


JL thank you very much

suthern thank you lady, you see the real ‘me’

ebonygirl, thank you

Margherita, thank you, I have locked my tears inside, refusing to let them fall, this memory seems far far away

easy1, thank you

ice, yes, I have much to be thankful for, much that makes me smile, I hope to put that on paper soon, thank you

Sunshine, thank you, for understanding
and for the hugs

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2011-11-10 05:30 PM


I thought to portray her as being beyond
tears,
to illustrate her strength with metaphor
and simile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This says so much, there is beauty and sorrow in your poem....and an underlying will to perservere.

Very much enjoyed pondering your thoughts.



Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2011-11-12 05:52 PM


Luminous One ~ It's very nice to see you posting again.
So many emotions can come rising up within us when we revisit a poem from the past. The experiences are still a part of us but hopefully the less pleasant ones don't hurt us as much as time goes by.

Love & Luminous Light,
EA

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
11 posted 2011-11-13 04:24 AM


beautifully penned!

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                        — W. E. Channing



Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
12 posted 2011-11-23 02:35 AM


Find your poetry unique and a joy to read, Luminosity.
                              Ida

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