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Open Poetry #47
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JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA

0 posted 2011-08-25 12:47 PM


Solitude

When did winter come?
I missed the spring and fall…
Summertime is too hot to muse over,
or try to placate at all.

I look and see and hear the blue sea
waves are rough and contentious
and white caps fill up the horizon.
The sea appears to connect to the grayness above me…

When did winter come?!

Was it always here
and I failed to comprehend?!

*

Winter is for loneliness
and quieting.
A place –
a place for the fool to notice his own tragedy,
his oneness…

The blue sea will need to be a friend –
When it is a tumult I can shout unheard!

Except for me hearing me,
my words crash against the sand and stones
like wave after wave relentlessly smashing –
echoing inside of me.

When did winter come?

Can I ever know that spring
or fall again?
My eyes so blurred from the cold wind
straining to recall,
yet no more examining words.
No more.

Just silence, is all…

*

© Copyright 2011 JL - All Rights Reserved
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
1 posted 2011-08-25 02:18 AM


Well written JL. Sadness and longing beautifully expressed.
                           Ida

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2011-08-25 08:10 AM


"a place for the fool to notice his own tragedy, / his oneness…"

I really liked this, instead of going on and on about the summer and AlGore heat you skimmed over it with winter set dead center in your premise.

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2011-08-25 08:32 AM


The repeated lines "When did winter come" are the key factor in making this poem work.
They bring the reader full circle, beginning to end.

Funny thing is, I don't mind when winter comes, as it is a natural time for resting for all things..including me.
My work pounds me when the ground is not frozen, but I get to rest because of the natural cycle of seasons..when witer comes.

I enjoyed this poem very much, and if there was a rating system (like other poetry sites I belong to, I would rate it 100.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2011-08-25 11:58 AM


Your words linger in poignant beauty, dear JL.

When we perceive Winter, the other seasons of our lives seem so far away, we were so busy then, but the joy isn't absent from Winter, it holds everything and above all a dormient promise of a new season full of surprises. We perceive solitude and yet we are one...

Love,
Margherita

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
5 posted 2011-08-25 12:12 PM


I loved your whole beautiful poem JL, but the second half resonates particularly well with me, though I don’t know the cold that is experienced in large parts of the USA, except through your poetry and that of others.  

My very favourite lines are:

Winter is for loneliness
and quieting.
A place –
a place for the fool to notice his own tragedy,
his oneness

though I believe the fool is very wise to “notice his own tragedy,/his oneness”

and not close behind, my second-favourite lines are:

My eyes so blurred from the cold wind
straining to recall,
yet no more examining words.
No more.

Just silence, is all…

Thank you for the lovely and sensitive  experience, JL.

Owl

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
6 posted 2011-08-25 12:48 PM


Ida,
Thank you for taking the time to read and being so kind, as you always are.
---
Jerry,
The summer and Al Gore.  Now that’s a topic to explore.
Thank you Mr.
---
Ice,
Thank you for your critique and the rating.  I’m not in for ratings but I bet my English Prof. would be happy I finally made a 100.  Thank you sir.
---
Margherita,
Very nice of you to drop in and I am glad you liked the write.  Thank you sweet lady.
---
OwlSA,
Wow, you know how to press all the right buttons.
Your response is heartwarming and so deeply appreciated.  
Coming from you it resonates.
Thank you.
I’m sorry you don’t know the cold, snow, freezing sleet, black ice on the streets, and having to run out in the cold for a pack of smokes.  It’s well worth experiencing.
Heeeeheeee…
But actually being on the beach in the winter is a beautiful experience.  


---
Thank you all so much

JL


ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
7 posted 2011-08-25 02:21 PM


Hi JL,
Really enjoyed your poem,
I do like winter because it brings out the warmth in me.
Ms. E

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2011-08-25 03:24 PM


Thanks Ms. E.


JL


Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

9 posted 2011-08-25 04:44 PM


I think there is a metaphor of the winter of life and not yet ready to welcome it? No matter it is a thought provoking poem and i say thank you for it..

Goldenrose.

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
10 posted 2011-08-26 01:38 AM


"Except for me hearing me,
my words crash against the sand and stones
like wave after wave relentlessly smashing –
echoing inside of me"

Fine lines.

Winter is not very harsh in my part of the world, however rainy seasons here is very much severe and creates havoc sometimes.

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
11 posted 2011-08-26 10:32 AM



Goldenrose,
Metaphor or simile or maybe an experience in imagination.
Thank you for your response I appreciate you taking the time to read.

---
Prasad Nataraj,

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

JL


BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
12 posted 2011-08-26 12:24 PM


Winter is for loneliness
and quieting.
A place –
a place for the fool to notice his own tragedy,
his oneness…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love the whole idea of that verse.  The stillness stirs the soul, and I found a sense of peace and well being in your words.

~~Captivating, JL

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2011-08-26 05:53 PM


Fine writing...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2011-08-26 08:20 PM


What Ice said...is what I would have
written. Excellent work on a grand
theme.


Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
15 posted 2011-08-29 01:19 AM


Interesting read - I read it as a metaphor, much like Goldenrose.  I like this a lot and yes, it is interesting.

Alison

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

16 posted 2011-08-29 11:59 AM


Hi JL, great to see you writing again...
loved the feel of this, I guess because, solitude can be very theroputic...for me anyway, and am enjoying the winters even more so, therefore, this poem makes not only a lot of sense, but have been here and realized, thorough it all, we are never really alone...well done my friend!  Lee J.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
17 posted 2011-08-29 12:14 PM


BlueSerenade,
Thank you!!
-----------
James Lee,
Thank you sir!
-----------
Sunshine,
Thanks lady!!
-----------
Alison,
Metaphors can be like a box of chocolate…
Thanks for reading.
------------
LEE J….?
LEE J….?
Thank you my friend, glad to hear from you again.


JL



jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
18 posted 2011-08-29 01:18 PM


"Just silence, is all…", not only my favorite line in this great piece, but often, my favorite part of many things I do, experience, see, or hear...

j.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
19 posted 2011-08-29 01:41 PM


Thanks J.
I really appreciate your input.


JL


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
20 posted 2011-08-31 09:14 PM


When did winter come?!

Was it always here
and I failed to comprehend?!

*

Winter is for loneliness
and quieting.
A place –
a place for the fool to notice his own tragedy,
his oneness…

The blue sea will need to be a friend –
When it is a tumult I can shout unheard!

Picking a favorite part was difficult because I like the entire poem.... but these lines really touch me. The bafflement is so poignant... you make me think of endings in my life that came without warning... when the sound of the waves covered my whimpers and the salt spray mingled with tears... Your words beckoned memories. *S*

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
21 posted 2011-08-31 09:24 PM


Suthern,

Such sweet words of encouragement, and I feel what you said for yourself is an appropriate empathy.

Now you made my head swell up to basketball size.  Hope I can find some duct-tape to wrap around my head so it doesn't explode.

Thank you so much!!


JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

22 posted 2011-09-01 09:58 AM


did you notice me beside you, just as silent...I am in the same place...this touches deep places
faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
23 posted 2011-09-02 11:43 AM


sad but beautifully expressed poem with vivid imagery and great diction...i love it!!!!

Love,

Faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
24 posted 2011-09-02 11:51 AM


Luminosity:
I think I could sense that you were there…
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
-------------
Faithmairee:
Thank you so much I appreciate your reply.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Haf_Alive
Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56
High in the Sky
25 posted 2011-09-04 02:12 PM


i like this poem a lot.  i was incarcerated for 6 months, during the winter.  when i was released on bail in the summer i was upset that i missed ALL of the winter.  i can apply the more literal sense of this piece to my own experiences, and now, maybe something deeper.  thank you.

HAF

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
26 posted 2011-09-04 08:07 PM


Thanks HAF

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

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