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Open Poetry #47
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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2011-07-28 10:07 AM




sleek lady of the shadows
hunger makes you bold
you hunt the streets
hoping to get lucky
as the night unfolds

LGR(C)7/28/11

© Copyright 2011 Lori Grosser Rhoden - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2011-07-28 10:08 AM


That prompts the question
was she sleek
or bony...

so many going hungry just now.




Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2011-07-28 10:20 AM


Sadly bone on bone, I've started leaving scraps out...they will come in amazingly close.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2011-07-28 10:28 AM


Yes, I've seen a scraggly vixen or two by the channel...




JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2011-07-28 11:19 AM


Yep. Hunger will drive anything or anybody to take desperate chances. Good on you for leaving scraps.

~ Money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
5 posted 2011-07-28 01:07 PM


I'm sorry for their situation but I am grateful to have the opportunity to get to see them so close and so many.
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 2011-07-28 01:12 PM


Wow, Lori, you say so much in 5 short lines.  The desperation is felt as well as read here.  Good write.
ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
7 posted 2011-07-28 06:43 PM


Hi Lori, I liked your poem.
Your poem had two meanings for me,
vixen as in woman of the night and foxy vixen.
Sorry, my imagination got away from me.
ebonygirl

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
8 posted 2011-07-28 07:02 PM


EG No need to apologize that was intentional on my part
Lori

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
9 posted 2011-07-28 07:08 PM


Michael thank you so much...you let me know my poem read well both ways as I had hoped it would.
Lori

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
10 posted 2011-07-29 10:40 PM


..nice tanka..it's a tanka..notice how Line
3 finishes the first 3 lines and is, also,
the first line of the last 3 lines..but you probably know all this..it's the pivot..much
enjoyed..spiros

p.s.not all tanka use a pivot

[This message has been edited by Spiros Zafiris (07-30-2011 05:50 AM).]

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
11 posted 2011-07-30 08:05 AM


Spiros thank you for pointing that out...I hadn't caught that.
Lori

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