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Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2011-07-23 08:23 PM

One hot day last summer
Doc Moose, feeling low
Went up north, Alaska way
To be an eskimo.

He asked the local honcho
Just what he had to do.
The chief said, "You must pass 3 tests.
That's all we ask of you."

"You must drive a husky dogsled
One hundred miles and back.
Then kill a ferocious grizzly
Before he can attack."

"Then, lastly, Moose, you must make love
To an Eskimo squaw.
Do these three things, you're one of us.
That is the Eskimo law."

Doc said, "No problem", grabbed the sled,
Hopped on and he was gone.
Next day he came back again and
Smiling, said "That's one".

He then ran up into the woods
As fast as he could go.
They all admired his strong desire
To be an eskimo.

The day passed, two, then three, then four
Still he did not arrive
At last he came back, drenched in blood,
And hardly still alive.

He finally said, "OK. That's two.
Boy! That was quite a thrill!
Now, where the hell's that Eskimo squaw
That I'm supposed to kill?"

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2011-07-23 10:40 PM

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

2 posted 2011-07-23 11:53 PM

Balladeer,
Funny though this is, it can't be all you got. After all, I learned some of my best from you.
Doc

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2011-07-24 06:11 AM

I was supposed to put all I got in one poem?? I prefer death by 1000 cuts myself.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

4 posted 2011-07-24 08:45 AM

Lol, yeah I guess you called me on that one, this is way too much fun. And hey, maybe we can make history because I seriously doubt anyone has ever died the "death of 1000 cuts" while laughing their heads off.
Doc

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member

since 2008-02-28

Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA

5 posted 2011-07-24 01:04 PM

HaHa! I love it.

Word Weaver
Member

since 2011-03-06

Posts 437
California, USA

6 posted 2011-07-24 01:13 PM

Having a mild case of the doldrums I came here looking for something uplifting. You never disappiint Michael. Now, tell me how to stop laughing.
Hugs,
Marcia

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

7 posted 2011-07-24 08:22 PM

Okay, I capitulate. Funny, tacky, but funny. So there!

Love ya, Balladeer!!! So there!!!

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

8 posted 2011-07-24 08:35 PM

OMG -- don't know how I missed this the first time around. You're still king of the storytelling world, Michael. rofl

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

9 posted 2011-07-24 09:51 PM

LOL!
Ebonygirl

divine chaos
Senior Member

since 2006-07-09

Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon

10 posted 2011-07-25 06:43 PM

LOL you never fail to satisfy .. kinda like a Snickers

I keep popping in to check on you and Doc, but what's happened to Toerag?? I figured he'd be right in the thick of it!

At the end of the day when all is said and done. I can stand proudly with my hands on my hips and say "I think I have super powers"

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

11 posted 2011-07-25 07:32 PM

Thanks to all for joining in this little frivolity. Michael, great to see you back!

Divine Chaos, well, I would rather produce a snicker than be one, but if you think I'm delicious, that's a good thing!!

Toerag?? I wish I knew...that boy has been MIA for some time now and he worries me..

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

12 posted 2011-07-25 08:08 PM

A search party has been sent out
for Toe by Balladeer
He may have gotten quite fed up
with drivel it appears

As I've been called the "Driveling One"
I'm glad to lend a hand
But first just let me make this clear
you have to understand

'Twas Deer not me that drove Toe off
I know this for a fact
'cause I use poetry for good
a skill my poor friend lacks

So Toe, if you are reading this
man, please check in at PIP
and to which one of us f'd up
throw out a finger flip.
Doc

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

13 posted 2011-07-26 11:17 AM

Politically incorrect and hilarious! LOL I enjoyed this immensely! *S*

My smile became a snicker, my snicker became a snort
And if I could just breathe again I would write a retort!
If humor will drag Toe back, he'll be here any minute -
When he enters a battle of wits, he's sure to win it!
The shame is, he no longer harkens to suthern's bellow
But if my pleas (or please!) would help, I'll beg - get back here, Toe!

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