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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-07-20 08:31 AM

perhaps it was those doe eyes
how you looked over your shoulder
and leaned into my horizon there
blocking the sun with your charms
whispering phrases without voice

you wore that smile above heaven
and made me wonder how much hell
I would consume just to sip some
of what little you had hidden
between those bronze hesitations

you had your busy hands on then
touching so many other buttons
playing with the thickened strings
plucking them into pray grounds
making statues open wide their eyes

while mine were more slowly closing

____________

daark

[This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (07-20-2011 11:06 AM).]

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

1 posted 2011-07-20 11:15 AM

You are a true word weaver - and your poems often delight me. This is one that does.

Love it.
Ali-san

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2011-07-20 11:21 AM

thanks little one...you always smile me ms ali-san

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2011-07-20 01:39 PM

Hmmmm, this reminds me of a trip I made to
Florida, and the Ringling Bros. gardens where
statues stood mute for everyone
but me.

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

4 posted 2011-07-20 01:56 PM

This is worded very well... I catch an image as well as emotion from this... like finding your whole lifeforce within one other person... then having to sit painfully alone watching that person walk away. Maybe I'm just being sentimental today, either way, I enjoyed the read.

Michael

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2011-07-20 02:25 PM

Ms sun a capture of an actress behind the glass that is aware but inside a prison as well as the suitor is confined outside. Statues always make me think love sounds. Thanks babe

_________

Michael

Close amigo. More forbidden and within a glass dream. Thanks guy

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

6 posted 2011-07-21 05:55 AM

Mr Daark.. you really weave some magic here :-)

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

7 posted 2011-07-21 07:14 AM

thank you ms R/B

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2011-07-21 09:53 AM

Loved this one. While I don't get much of your writing, I suggest that it is my problem, not yours. You venture into unknown wordplay that I have a problem adjusting to. But I liked this one very much. I'll be back.

~ Eggs and bacon, honeymoon style / What's honeymoon style? / Straight up and hard. ~

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

9 posted 2011-07-21 02:53 PM

I liked your poem.
Your eyes were wide open when you first saw her,
then closing at the end of your poem.
Were they closing to continue her image in your mind?
Very cool!

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

10 posted 2011-07-21 02:56 PM

Liked your poem very much.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

11 posted 2011-07-21 02:59 PM

Jp, thanks amigo. I think you feel the tune most of the time which is most of the intent.

_____________

Ms ebony. Welcome to the bluezoo. You are correct in the suggestion of continuing the dream while she was otherwise busy....I also played on "love is blind" and the suggestion of slowly going there.
thanks for your glances.

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

12 posted 2011-07-21 03:17 PM

Dear Dark,
Eyes wide open at first sighting, then
closing at the end to continue her image in your head.
Very cool!
Ms Ebony

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

13 posted 2011-07-21 11:03 PM

Awww dude....You make me sigh so good!

special hugs for you~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

14 posted 2011-07-22 08:06 AM

babyblue....you are my favorite sighway...thanks babe

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

15 posted 2011-07-25 12:48 PM

you wore that smile above heaven
and made me wonder how much hell
I would consume just to sip some
of what little you had hidden
between those bronze hesitations

You pass that sighing right on to the reader... I can get lost in your words. *G* Glass dreams, hunh? *G* That would be Steuben crystal? LOL

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

16 posted 2011-07-25 12:53 PM

ms suthern...you bless me lady friend...and I am pleased to have you lost in my humble pen maze...whisper softly and I will come and find you.

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