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Word Weaver
Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437
California, USA

0 posted 2011-07-19 03:37 PM






A seemingly familiar road
winding along the cliff above the sea,
waves below cresting in welcoming rhythm.
Ahead, the meadow bathed in colors of the sunset
gulls in formation swoop by in congruous assurance.
The cat draped across my neck, one paw on my cheek.
The dog sleeping alongside me, trusting my purpose.
Accumulations of a decade overflowing the backseat
a soft click and a different disc begins to play--
melodious heartbreak simulating mine.

The gravel and shell driveway crunches under the tires.
There, a garden of wild roses competing with geraniums,
an ancient apple tree, now fruitless, but holding firm.
The scent of the sea, mingled with flora welcome me.
Yanking the "For Sale" sign out of the ground
I toss it face down into the storage shed
and see through the mist of my pain
the setting sun and I know,
tomorrow it will rise
on a brand-new day.

© Marcia MillerTwiford



© Copyright 2011 Marcia Miller-Twiford - All Rights Reserved
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
1 posted 2011-07-19 03:58 PM


Oh, Marcia, you held me spellbound through every word - I read it so very slowly, not wanting to leave any image, but finding the next as special - the minimalism of the emotions has them overflowing in the reader, and the last thing I was expecting was the For Sale sign - but I was relieved that you pulled it up - but a little anxious for a while, but I trust that it didn't have to go up again.  I suspect that the pain was after the passing of Gene.  I wish that he could have read this, as I am sure you do too.

Looking at the photo, it is no wonder you love the house so much - and that aside from the memories - mind you, re-looking at the first line, perhaps it was a new home to you, after all - and perhaps the anger was because Gene wasn't there to share it - no need to explain - I hope you don't mind my wondering, though.

Hugs
Owl  

Word Weaver
Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437
California, USA
2 posted 2011-07-19 04:21 PM


Thank you so much my friend. The poem is pure fiction - a product of this writer's musings. I do love the house.


OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
3 posted 2011-07-19 05:11 PM


Which proves what a superb artist you are!  It seems - no, it IS - so real - loved the kitty and doggy touch too.  You certainly had my imagination on tiptoe-alert!  Glad that there is no pain, seeing it is fiction!  Smiles.

It even fitted in with what you said (in a reply to Alison's moose poem) about living in the wilds amongst all sorts of wild life!

Owl

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
4 posted 2011-07-19 07:35 PM


Played a beautiful tune on my heartstrings with this one! Line for line a beauty!
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
5 posted 2011-07-19 07:38 PM


I was held by the drama of this poem also, but somehow believed that the poem was from your imagination. Either way it was a beautifully told poem and the emotions which the ending caused to surge into my hearts were real enough. Good job.

~ Eggs and bacon, honeymoon style / What's honeymoon style? / Straight up and hard. ~

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
6 posted 2011-07-20 04:42 AM


Fine descriptive writing, beautiful picture too.

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2011-07-20 06:45 AM


The gravel and shell driveway crunches under the tires.

Out of all the beautiful lines in this piece, that one seems to grab me the most. Go figure.

Maybe it's because shell and gravel driveways are almost relics of the past, replaced by concrete or asphalt. I still remember that crunch as a child pulling into our driveway in our old '53 Studebaker. Having properly dated myself,I shall now take my Geritol and get dressed!

It's funny how, as writers, we never really know which line we write can cause the greatest impact on a reader. Maybe that's why we should concentrate on making every line the best we can. You certainly do that and, for that, my appreciation of your talent is limitless.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2011-07-20 11:26 AM


Deer "dated himself" ewwwww can we say that on here?  Very cool piece ms...there are some little cove haunts like that around here in Ventura...I will think of you when I pass them now.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2011-07-20 11:44 AM


It's all good, Dark....I went Dutch!!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2011-07-20 01:25 PM


Marcia...

I have to agree with all that everyone said, but what I enjoyed most was the "visual presentation" as the poem laid itself out in a form that to me, seemed like a small jar or vase that would hold sea-dreams.

Enjoyed, young lady.


Word Weaver
Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437
California, USA
11 posted 2011-07-20 01:41 PM


Thank you Balladeer, Dark and Sunshine. Your comments are what keeps me inspired.

A happy day to all!


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
12 posted 2011-07-20 02:08 PM


You express yourself beautifully in this.  The words hold a very tanglible element to themselves, and cry out for empathy.  I not only read this, I felt it... Very good writing here.


Michael

Word Weaver
Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437
California, USA
13 posted 2011-07-20 02:14 PM


That you "feel" it are golden words to a poet. It's what I strive for. Thank you for your kind comment Michael.

Marcia
www.thewritingforum.net


ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
14 posted 2011-07-31 05:53 PM


Solemn phrases well described,
ebonygirl

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