Gothic thru my Eyes (from Poetry Workshop)

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Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2011-07-09 03:04 AM

when the sun shines
all summer

l
o
n
g

monsters        t
                    i
                p
t
o
   e
out from under
my bed

and hide in
dark cracks and
cre   ices
    V
of the woodshed

growing more ugly
with longer teeth
and bUgly red eyes

as they sharpen their claws
on yesterday’s
bones

sucking the marrow

whi
   le
  waiting to

    d
      a
         n
            c
               e

in my nightmares
    and to
          paint bloody
                       words

on my eyelids

_

Alison

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

1 posted 2011-07-09 06:57 AM

Neat, very neat poem! Sharpening the teeth on those bones oh... powerful imagery! Good to read you again,Allison!

Miscellanea

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2011-07-09 08:40 PM

For a moment I thought I was reading e.e.cummings...nice job with the concrete format Alison..loved the way the poem seemed alive.

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

3 posted 2011-07-13 09:06 AM

interesting !!

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2011-07-14 04:55 AM

Wow, dear Alison! This was an exceptional write. Good that I read it in the morning!

Love and smiles.
Margherita

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2011-07-14 06:29 AM

yeah and you wake up with moose drool all over your knappies...cool construction lady...bet you could build a brick spit house out of tubes by four.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2011-07-14 03:49 PM

I haven't played with a poem like this for several years...I wonder where I put them?

Too cool, darlin' girl...and we needed that in our summer sizzle!

Word Weaver
Member

since 2011-03-06

Posts 437
California, USA

7 posted 2011-07-14 04:34 PM

What a fun read. And I'll bet it was fun to write. Watch out for those ghosties and ghoulies and other things that go bump in the night Alison.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2011-07-15 12:10 PM

pretty neat stuff here Ali

kinda like e.e.cummings

love this!

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

9 posted 2011-07-16 01:13 AM

Thank you all. I am not much for writing dark poetry, and I was really stumped by Balladeer's assignment. I sat down (under pressure because he took me to task a bit for not doing my work

) and started playing. I was thinking about a note BobK wrote to me once about free style poetry - and I was thinking about my sister who once wrote to me and told me that the only poetry that she liked was by e e cummings. So, I just wrote and played.

Again, thank you.

xoxoxo
Alison

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

10 posted 2011-07-16 02:46 AM

A magnificent work of art, Alison! Despite what you say, you are into anything you set your heart and mind to, as I am sure Balladeer has told you many times. You are a poet of great talent, and when reality fails you on one of his tasks, just let your imagination take over and you will keep up the excellent standard of your poetry every time.

Smiles and hugs
Owl

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