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Open Poetry #47
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ThatOneGuy
Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33
Indiana, United States

0 posted 2011-06-27 11:49 PM


I haven't written in a while, and I'm open to any feedback you guys may have

Here we are again
Despite distance and time
Wondering what could have been
Our words like wind in a chime

It hurt to see you shut that door
And still I can't help but think
You're the only one I'll reach for
Anytime I start to sink

I swore I'd never leave you
And I meant every word
Even as a stare at the wall
Wondering why you never call

But what if you were here?
Could we change our story?
Could we say those two words
We always wanted to hear?

Those thoughts haunt every day
I can't ever escape them
Constantly in my head to say
You know she left you for him

I always thought you'd be with me
Even through all this pain and time
Maybe someday our words won't be
Like the wind in a chime.

© Copyright 2011 ThatOneGuy - All Rights Reserved
katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
1 posted 2011-06-28 11:29 PM


One of your lines I believe should read -
"Even as (I) stare at the wall"
Other than that I think this was nicly done.
Heartfelt, enjoyed!
Kat >^..^<

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2011-06-29 10:03 AM


This is a great poem. Keep posting I want to read more please!
Lori

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