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Open Poetry #47
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Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2011-06-22 10:59 PM


Tonight the valley curls
quiet in shadow
like an ashen-furred cat
asleep in the last slant of gold

It`s enough to wake the muse:
ringing with the lilted lullabies
of songbirds, winging home
against the peridot

And where is she, fickle lover?
though she`s accustomed to so-
instead the tired palm of
old aunt anxiety

wipes solemn the stain of shame-
so cold, so cold.

And digs with gnarled fingers
through a healing history
pulling crumbled trails
and  wilted roots

lifts in evil victory
forgotten things, dead things, and
I don`t look

but turn a streaming eye
to the sun.

© Copyright 2011 Amaryllis - All Rights Reserved
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
1 posted 2011-06-23 12:10 PM


In true Amaryllis tradition, you have created a work of art that is as delicate as a dewdrop, but as explosive as a volcano – I could imagine a classical composer creating a tone poem with this.  I adore every word, image and concept, and I really love the enigmatic ending with multiple possible interpretations, but my favourite bit is the first stanza – you had me so hooked right from the start – and my second-favourite bit is the rest of the poem.  I absolutely loved puzzling out my own interpretation and fitting the title in with the poem.   I dare you to better this poem if you can!  No, scratch that – but I think I have made it sorta clear that I sorta like your poem, lol!

Owl

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
2 posted 2011-06-23 02:10 PM


Oh thank you so much, Owl! I do find I write too nebulous at times...it`s meant to invoke the way we wrestle with our demons, (even on a gently beautiful evening), and the deliberate turning away from painful memories.. I appreciate your comments and kind words, it means a lot!  
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
3 posted 2011-06-23 02:11 PM


*oops
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2011-06-23 02:44 PM


I pretty much got that, Amaryllis, but I love how you did it!  Smiles.

Owl

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2011-06-23 03:58 PM


WHether I understood all of it or not, the last lines gave me a chill for some reason. That makes it good, in my book!!
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
6 posted 2011-06-24 10:35 AM


Thank you, Balladeer  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2011-07-02 06:54 PM


Fine writing...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2011-07-02 09:11 PM


Poe would love the turning
of this mind's wind.

You had me with the first four
lines; you kept me along
to call you into my library.

"The business of the poet...is to show the sorriness underlying the grandest things and the grandeur underlying the sorriest things." Thomas Hardy

eminor_angel
Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323
Canada
9 posted 2011-07-03 10:08 AM


I enjoy your metaphors.
eminor_angel
Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323
Canada
10 posted 2011-07-03 10:08 AM


like this.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
11 posted 2011-07-14 08:28 AM


Simply haunting in its beauty, dear Amaryllis. So intense that the words paint a picture and the picture provides deep emotions.

So good to read you!

Love,
Margherita

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