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Open Poetry #47

behind the glances

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-06-06 07:55 AM

I would always think of the rain
as something glancing from a window
just out of focus enough
to be a closer distance

your smile is that way too sometimes
when you wear it in public
not for anyone special you say
but because it just feels good

and your hair with summer touching
a breeze too perhaps like fingers
moving it around over your shoulders
like a lover making room for whispers

as you stand behind the glass quietly

____________

daark

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2011-06-06 10:07 AM

Great wordplay here, DS, with the favorite, "like a lover making room for whispers."

To analyze a smile using the rain outside a windowpane is awesome (hate that word, but it works here) and I was there looking at the smile, which was "not for anyone special," but I thought it might have been.

~ Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.--Will Rogers ~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2011-06-06 10:43 AM

thanks JP..

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2011-06-06 10:37 PM

"just out of focus enough
to be a closer distance"

...and your description of that thought is exquisite...nice write

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

4 posted 2011-06-06 11:23 PM

I really love this one! You have a great way with words.
Kat >^..^<

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2011-06-07 05:20 AM

quote:
and your hair with summer touching
a breeze too perhaps like fingers
moving it around over your shoulders
like a lover making room for whispers

as you stand behind the glass quietly

Such beautiful imagery and delicate emotions arise from your words.

Love,
Margherita

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2011-06-07 07:54 AM

steavenr, thanks amigo

____________

ms kat, thank you so much for the glance dance

_____________

ms mar, thank you lady friend for your soft sigh eyes

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