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Open Poetry #47
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Brian James
Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg

0 posted 2011-05-30 04:12 PM


Having a little fun with the format.  The refrain is just two similar lines rather than repeated ones, and I didn't bother using rhyme.  Based on a true story, but not a personal experience.

Garza's Villanelle

Love always had been written in your blood
Flushing your cheeks each time I spoke to you,
The blood so warm that sometimes turned mine cold.

Chills now befall me, stirring in remorse,
I never told you while you lived and breathed
Or poured my own love to your waiting heart

How much forgiveness often comes with love,
Or how such sacrifice can change our faces;
How one's hot blood can warm another's cold.

"I'm going to die," you said, though you weren't dying,
Set your mind to it.  "I am going to die,
And Donna, my true love, shall have my heart."

Cheered just a little from a hospital bed
I never knew that love could summon death,
That hearts could beat when bodies have turned cold.

You're here now, and there's hot tears on my cheeks,
Red with your blood from fright, death comes again.
You have my love, but I can't want your heart.
This blood is yours, and mine is turning cold.

© Copyright 2011 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2011-05-31 08:57 AM


quote:
Chills now befall me, stirring in remorse,
I never told you while you lived and breathed
Or poured my own love to your waiting heart



Most beautiful, dear Brian! An intriguing piece of poetry, very well written.

Love,
Margherita

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2011-06-07 07:23 PM


Some nice thoughts here...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2011-06-07 09:25 PM


Hello Teach...

You have always amazed me.
You continue to do so.

If you were to give a name to this
similar/new style, what would be it?


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