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Open Poetry #47
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2011-05-19 08:09 AM


        


Counting steps...

An ode to clumsiness, my body writes the lines;

I have never known why...perhaps being close,
And afraid of rejection...shaking, waiting in line
Counting down , whose number matches mine;
A tall-gangly girl, in a phlegm colored dress
Was counting down numbers from the other side.

I trembled doing it, stiff -yet shaking.
We danced the box step, her face above me;
One-two, three- four..two back, two forward-
Slide..awkward penguins, counting our steps--
Across a  ninth- grade ballroom floor;

The  pretty girls, had fixed their place's
In line-by prior arrangement , danced close-
Sliding across the gym with the would-be jocks;
Future tuxedo wearers-pinners of corsages,
That would darken their senior prom doors.

For what reason does history constrict me,
After all these years? I have knowledge of rhythm,
Sing pretty good, and can play the guitar..
But when my wife suggests, that we get out and dance
The long-past (comes out) from its long hidden place;

And I am a pimple faced- ninth-grader, counting his steps,
Dancing clumsily- rigid, with a tall-gangly girl,
Still wearing her phlegm colored dress.

Note:
When I was in ninth grade, we were forced to take dance lessons, under the threat of failing "gym" ( the only class I ever got stright "A's" in.
So I did it, and it was a nightmare for me..although I know that the instrutors were trying to instill a little culture in my life. The girls would line up on one side of the Gym, the boys on the other...each line would merge, and who ever was in the same numerical order, in each line, would be your partner.

Hope this makes the poem more clear...

BTW This poem was inspired by my wife suggesting that I learn how to dance.....


[This message has been edited by ice (05-20-2011 07:17 AM).]

© Copyright 2011 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2011-05-19 08:17 AM


Excellent! Love how you perfectly captured the way past experiences can color and effect us throughout our lives. This really speaks to me.
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2011-05-19 08:59 AM


I concur to an extent, Ice. I don't know how to really dance, but I guess my natural rhythm has saved the day for me over the years. I was a dancing fool back in "tha" sixties, accent on fool, at least I imagined I was, it was according to what drug(s) were floating through my bloodstream that particular day.

~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
3 posted 2011-05-19 09:05 AM


I remember sock hops from the 9th grade.  I was painfully shy and embarrassed by it all.  Most of the boys didn't want to be there, and I could have slipped right through the gym floor cracks if I'd had my way.  There was no box step, though, but the two-step and the twist.  What a combination!  My dance partner was shorter than I, a slightly built farm boy, and I don't think we ever looked each other in the eye.  The next dance I attended was a junior prom, too.  There wasn't much eye-to-eye contact there, either, since my date was 6'7" tall and I was 5'3"  heheh.    
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2011-05-19 09:08 AM


ice...

'rowdy' told me when I was a boy..."at the first dance ever done..no one knew how to dance...they just let the music do things to them."  I went and watched for a bit and sure enough....he was right...kewl stuff guy....

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2011-05-19 09:37 AM


You sure had me smiling here, dear Ford! This is very very lovely, could picture the situation, but I am in the end very sorry for your wife who loves to dance. A little sacrifice for  her maybe ... a few dancing lessons, to overcome the original shaking reaction?
In my case the counting distracted me from the natural rhythm ... I am the one who lets the music do things to me, as our DS says so well. I was very fortunate, as my favorite Uncle was a very good dancer and I just followed him. He guided me so well, it just felt like flying. I hated dances where the men held you close ... HELP! Good thing that it was rock an' roll time and twist and such   Anyway, thank you for this, much enjoyed reading it and remembering my own experiences.
(now my dancing floor is the kitchen and my partner is the cat ... )

Love,
Margherita

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2011-05-19 12:46 PM


Ford....I loved this!  
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2011-05-20 05:05 AM


Lori
J.P.
Klassy
Dark
Margherita
Martie

More wonderful replies cannot be asked for.
To be understood , to awaken memories and feelings in readers, was the goal of the old romantic poets. Critics have chastized me on occasion for trying to follow that old "worn out" tradition. But it is worth it to me when I get reviews such as these.

Namaste--Thank you all.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2011-05-20 07:10 AM


You can tell critics to go to that place where the sun don't shine, ice. Poems like this a re a breath of fresh air in a stale smelling world. Don't stop, please...

My grandma used to say that dancing was nothing more than the vertical application of a horizontal idea.....gotta love her!

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2011-05-20 10:33 PM


Thank you, Balladeer
"My grandma used to say that dancing was nothing more than the vertical application of a horizontal idea.....gotta love her"

Yes you do, those are words of wisdom I will keep in mind  ;-)

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