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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-05-13 08:12 AM


we awoke to find the light
dimming on our run
what once was a fireball of passion
cold cinders
all that remained
though we continued longing for what was
the nights
we tried to find that fire

earlier . . .

passion was enough in the early days
enough so we missed
how we began to deceive
once begun
there was no checking it at the door
the small falsehoods claimed our souls
caused us to see each other differently
that brought on the arguments

then . . .

we developed a blueprint
how to treat the other
fooled everyone but ourselves
our eyes, they hardly met
we allowed just enough civility
to help us make it through the day
but how in the name of a God
did we make it through the nights

so . . .

we'd hung our lives on each other
back then
starry-eyed and innocent
not understanding
life can take a terrible toll
unless you observed the rules
keep love alive and fresh
take nothing for granted or you lose

now . . .

black smoke is twisting from our bonfire
the one we've tossed
what was left of what we had
all those years for naught
we can barely be in the same room
we have traveled such a distance
I think of a dark, dark forest
I couldn't be more lost inside them



~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.  ~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (05-13-2011 09:38 AM).]

© Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2011-05-13 09:26 AM


chilling acuracy of the death of a relationship. Made me uncomfortable with memories of marriages that didn't make it.
good write!
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2011-05-13 09:39 AM


I know, Lori, it is an uncomfortable poem to read, it was to write also. But thank you for getting through it. You're a trooper.

~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.  ~

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
3 posted 2011-05-13 12:20 PM


this is very sad but well-crafted, great job of capturing the decline of a relationship...

Love,


Faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2011-05-13 12:28 PM


Hi Faith. It is the little things which build into big things that soon overwhelm us, but we just don't see these little things as problems. Until it is too late.

Thanks for the read and comments.

~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.  ~

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
5 posted 2011-05-13 01:30 PM


you are most welcome...loved the poem

Love,


Faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Namyh
Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988

6 posted 2011-05-13 04:34 PM


JerryP - One thing about Love, it makes no promises. We mortals only wish it would. The poem is a testimonial for all of us to look at and remember. Namyh
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
7 posted 2011-05-13 05:20 PM


I do so agree, Namyh. So much is made of "love," but there are so many things that constitute love, and, as we all know, love is fickle. Thank you for reading and commenting.

~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.  ~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2011-05-15 09:25 PM


Nice writing...Some experts say that romantically you fall in love and out of love in approxamately a two year period, and it is only after that two year period when you are able to truly love that person, because the infatuation and lust no longer get in the way...makes sense to me...James
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
9 posted 2011-05-15 09:29 PM


Makes sense to me too, James, but also after two years you can also realize you can't stand the sight of one another. Haha

Thanks for dropping by, reading and commenting.

~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2011-05-16 06:15 AM


Your range is amazing, JP..from Hog Killing to this..and beyond.

The truth of this poem is painful, and yet avoidable..I think?

A great read for me this morning.
Thank you

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
11 posted 2011-05-16 06:30 AM


Good morning, Ice, and thank you for reading and commenting on my stuff.

~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~

AlCowie
Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 92
London, UK
12 posted 2011-05-16 08:48 AM


Clear thinking poem, powerful sentiments, enjoyed it
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
13 posted 2011-05-16 09:03 AM


That's why my Mother recommended to have some kind of testing co-living with the choosen one. She was ahead of her time, such things were judged as "sinful" in those times. But she was so right. Only by sharing the quotidianity we can really discover if there will be harmony. (for the chronicle: I did not follow her advice ... ).

It's so sad when a relationship can't be healed. Problems and critical moments spare no one I think.

Anyway, as usual you have offered us  a great, insightful and powerful work, dear Jerry.

Love,
Margherita


JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
14 posted 2011-05-16 10:15 AM


Thanks, Al, I so appreciate your thoughts.

Margherita, hand-clap for your mother. Even living with someone doesn't guarantee happiness. There is something about signing that marriage certificate that seems to change both parties for the worse in too many cases

I lived with my last wife twenty years before we finally made it legal. It worked for us.

~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~

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