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Open Poetry #47
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OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2011-05-11 03:09 AM



LOOKING BACK
8 May 2011

As the dream train swept her away
she stood on tiptoes
leaning out the window
looking back -
and their eyes locked
almost strongly enough
to stop the train.

Owl

© Copyright 2011 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2011-05-11 03:24 AM


And your words bring such intense emotion for their beauty ... almost enough to stop my breath!

Fantastic vision, dear Owl.

To keep in mind: souls travel faster than trains

Love,
Margherita


ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2011-05-11 04:42 AM


Four twenty eight, a.m.:
And I cannot sleep...being
Driven towards the coming day;

Rising to this, these
Mere several words, on a screen--
This show of intensity, of two lives.

The real reason for human life
Which is strong passion--
Strong enough to stop a train

And I am oddly relaxed,
My tension leaves
As I visualize the lovers
Saying good bye.

नमस्ते,
ford

[This message has been edited by ice (05-13-2011 07:38 AM).]

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
3 posted 2011-05-11 07:43 AM


The brakes of the heart have been known to stop trains, planes, automobiles in a flash, all may suddenly change direction.

I enjoyed this much Dear Owl.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2011-05-11 03:51 PM


Thank you, Margherita, for your lovely words.  Yes, you are so right.  Souls travel faster than trains, lol.

Thank you, Ford.  I am glad my poem helped you to relax.  Smiles.

And I enjoyed your reply, EmmaRose.  Thank you.

Owl

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
5 posted 2011-05-12 08:41 PM


Now THAT'S a look back.

~ I think the freezer deserves a light as well.  ~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2011-05-13 12:26 PM


Yep, Jerry.  I s'pose it is.  Smiles.

Owl

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
7 posted 2011-05-15 01:35 PM


Fascinating write, Diana. Love it.
                          Ida

AlCowie
Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 92
London, UK
8 posted 2011-05-15 01:55 PM


Strong image, enjoyed!
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
9 posted 2011-05-15 05:38 PM


Thank you, Ida.  I am glad you did.

Thank you, Al.  Glad you enjoyed it.

Owl

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2011-05-17 11:56 AM


I can imagine
a lady looking forward
to looking back
glancing over her shoulder
at herself and smiling

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
11 posted 2011-05-17 12:04 PM


Smiles, Dark.

Owl

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
12 posted 2011-05-17 12:17 PM


diana, this is a marvellous inspiration, your images penetrated my mind with strenght and the dream became real.the read has the power of a magical truth. very well done,
yann

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2011-05-17 12:29 PM


Thank you for your beautiful reply, Yann.

Owl

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
14 posted 2011-05-17 09:53 PM


Oh, such bells and whistles area going off in my head, Diana.  I love this one and find myself smiling at the thought of destinies re-drawn by the heart.  De-railing here!!! LOL  ~Karen
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
15 posted 2011-05-18 01:18 AM


Sometimes I just want to pull the danged cord and stop the danged dream!

A

Capricious
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 89
California, USA
16 posted 2011-05-18 07:30 AM


To my mind, this could be read in two ways.

Either the dreamer longs for the destination, or fears it.  

Either she asserts her will to stay on the train, or wishes she could get off, but can't.

There is also the mystery of what the second party, the conscious mind, is thinking ...

Dreams can be a two-edged sword.  I wonder if the butterfly dreaming he was a man ever considered it a nightmare?

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
17 posted 2011-05-20 03:43 PM


Thank you, Karen.  Smiling at how much you enjoyed the poem.

Thank you, Alison.  Smiles.

Thank you, Capricious.  There are other ways to read it too.  

Owl

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