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Open Poetry #47
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2011-05-01 08:33 PM



Her heart was like a locket,
That hung, inside her breast;
A walk along the shore,
The pipers spreading.
.
The bauble held dual images;
Unlike the birds that separate-she can-not
Stay away the traces-of two faces from her mind.
.
Her longing is weak, she can-not choose
Between the twain, and gains no help
From passing time-No ease-is felt by ones delete
As much as she has tried, she cannot full erase
Her love for both--the birds all gather back-
Regroup--she walks along the beach alone.
.
Duet remains, one is not chosen;
Two, have claimed they love her-
Both, are mind-enraged, their thoughts
On fire, heat of jealousy-enflamed,
Lit by hesitation in her choosing
And the simple fact she states--
"I love you both the same."
.
Sea air breaks sobriety..drunk it spreads
Its morphine vapors through the lungs;
And for a while she-becomes, intoxicated;
.
Thoughts and brine ,find-shore on waves
Foxfire-greens and grays illuminate the crests
With opaque signs....lettered by the sea.
.
Two faces raise up in the chop, a him and him
Floating close apart-in bobbing vessels-
Hailing as they sail the breaks that crash
On sand, on pebble-rubble-land that separates
The troubled maid-from two, that are her lovers.
.
They cry her name, their voices break, a stammer
In their speech (one pleads) "please come with me"
(the other) "be my lover"  cosmic echo songs
One octave higher than is normal
Heard above the song of crashing waves.
.
Three hearts, three lives, make an entangle
A treble knot, ensnarled by ropes of passion.
All three became susceptible to pain
by love rejection. And though she tried
So very hard to solve the riddle
.
What does one do, when one loves two?.
.
The enigma still remained.

end

Note:
Being in love with two people equally is an unusual human trait...but maybe not?
I picked a woman as the victim in this poem, but it could very well be a man.


© Copyright 2011 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2011-05-01 08:49 PM


I think is is possible and also that it may happen more than we expect. The human condition can rationalize almost anything. I can see her loving one man for his steadfastness and diligence, and the other for his wild spirit and rebel outlook. Interesting work here . . .

~ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. ~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2011-05-01 09:58 PM


Nice thoughts...James
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2011-05-01 10:21 PM


I really liked how you used the sea in this poem - the birds, the brine, the waves - all came together in my mind to set the background for this poem and the woman who walked among the scattered birds, loving two men the same.  Yes, this is quite the run-on sentence/thought, but I am still on that page with your poem.

Alison

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2011-05-02 03:30 AM


My view is probably simplistic, insensitive and maybe even harsh, but I am simply answering the question you asked, as I see the answer.  

I believe (and will probably be shouted down by the rest of humanity if they all could hear me) that one ALLOWS oneself to fall in love – that the feelings and temptations are there and often extremely strongly so, but that one really does have control over what one allows oneself to think and feel.  That being the case, if one doesn’t want to be in love with two people, one doesn’t allow oneself to start those beginning feelings with the second person (for whatever reason - fairness to the other parties, fairness to oneself, whatever), and then the situation above doesn't occur.  

If, on the other hand, the second person is more attractive (and I don’t mean just visually) than the first, one needs to make the decision and follow through with breaking up (if one is not married) with the first partner before embarking on the second, understanding that there is probably a short cross-over time where both feature in one’s life in order to come to that decision.  

If one is married, one simply doesn’t ALLOW oneself to fall in love with another person, no matter what the temptation.  I am drawing from my own life and so what I am saying is not just hot air.  However, I know that I think differently from most people.  

I think that there is very often (though not always) a very simple solution to a lot of our (both individual and collective) problems of all kinds, but we as individuals of the human race, are not, for the most part, prepared to take the simple solution, either because we don’t see it, or don’t look for it properly, or don’t accept it when we do see it, or think erroneously that we are not able to.  

Owl

[This message has been edited by OwlSA (05-02-2011 05:33 AM).]

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2011-05-02 06:59 AM


Jerry, James, Alison, Owl....:-)
Thank you so much for reading, and your reviews..

The poem contains a touchy subject, and I have received many different viewpoints on it.

It was written partially from personal experience, but for the most part, I drew on the experiences,

and viewpoints of others. Many thought this type of triangle was more common than I did.

I love the various viewpoints, it makes me feel like the poem is effective.

Thank you all


Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
6 posted 2011-05-02 09:15 AM


great poem..I like the stir you created..it is good to hear other perspectives.
Lori

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2011-05-02 09:21 AM


Your poem is indeed very effective, dear Ford, because it is very well written and because it touches a theme, that in my opinion is known to and experienced by more people than you might suspect.

"I love you both the same" is the one sentence nobody likes to hear in such a situation, because obviously everyone wants to be more loved than any other .

I think Jerry is right in saying that one loves different characteristics in different men/women. That's the "harem-type" of love and it blooms everywhere no doubt.

To give in to love when it penetrates our heart is a wonderful thing, but so often the risk is that one might hurt someone if we maintain a double story. It is necessary to choose, even if choice is not easy. I am thinking of Liz Taylor for example, just to mention someone we all know. We might have wondered at the many times she got married and divorced, but in a way she was true to herself and made her choices. She decided for one at a time.

When we use our rational mind and say shhhhh to the heart, unhappiness will enter our lives, even if we try to convince ourselves that it was for our highest good ... To find the right balance and to make choices isn't easy really.

In conclusion it is a heart matter and it requires the responsibility of a choice nonetheless, because who is satisfied and happy with "I love you the same"??...

Love and joy.
Margherita


"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
8 posted 2011-05-02 11:42 AM


Your words are wise.

Despite the complications
the person in the poem
is torn by, these are earthly
man made complications, that
rip us apart yet true love
is wonderful when it enters our
lives, and actually should be in
theory, simple.

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