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Open Poetry #47
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Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2011-04-27 11:50 AM


Sometimes hope is like a curse

The trees grow
Amongst the decaying floor
There's a stale, thick must

Machines growl
serrated blades tear off flesh
But there are no screams

Now sapplings
Ache on the empty nude floor
The sun pierces down


-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

© Copyright 2011 Juju - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2011-04-27 05:01 PM


Again you offer us incredible visions which induce depth of thought.

Extremely well done.

Love,
Margherita

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2011-04-27 06:06 PM


exquisitely profound write, beautifully phrased...nice write
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
3 posted 2011-04-28 05:08 PM


.

Seems Japanese


.

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
4 posted 2011-04-28 05:20 PM


The style is a very poor hiku

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Dawn Brink
Junior Member
since 2011-04-28
Posts 44
South Africa
5 posted 2011-04-28 05:23 PM


Beautiful, powerful words...
I'm discovering lovely poetry in this forum!

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

6 posted 2011-04-28 08:25 PM



Dear Juju,

     In one of the variations of the Pandora myth, she managed to close the lid of the box before the last and most horrible of the evils of the world escaped, and she was able to keep it contained, at least to some extent.  The most terrible of these evils was named Hope.  It seems you’ve come across one of those painful archetypal insights and made it your own, always at best a mixed blessing.  Thank heavens you were able to put it into such moving form.

Bob Kaven

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2011-05-01 09:57 PM


Nice...James
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