navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » Voyage of Days
Open Poetry #47
Post A Reply Post New Topic Voyage of Days Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2011-04-21 12:23 PM


One must learn to adjust when life throws you a curve
Courses change rapidly, heel to starboard or port
Through this voyage of days one may come to observe

Muster all of your humor and most of your nerve
Keep your wits at all times or disaster you'll court
One must learn to adjust when life throws you a curve

If you'd stay off the rocks you had damn better swerve
Angry gods make abusing you their first resort
Through this voyage of days one may come to observe

Though convinced so much crap's far more than you deserve
Taking stock of that days' nightly damage report
One must learn to adjust when life throws you a curve

Life can oft' make you into the "sea farin' sort"
And turn swearin' into a competitive sport!
Through this voyage of days one may come to observe
One must learn to adjust when life throws you a curve.

© Copyright 2011 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2011-04-21 01:14 PM


Nice villanelle. I've tried it a time or two myself. My attempt wasn't nearly so grand as this. Learning to deal with life, if, of course, different according to the person. But this poem give a really good starting point to stand with your back against the wall and fight back in your own particular way.

~ Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river. ~

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
2 posted 2011-04-21 08:09 PM


JerryPat2,
Thanks for your comments. When I started this, I really had all intents to try and keep it serious, alas, my true nature got the better of me, lol. At some point I will
without a doubt post something more befitting the form, apparently, I'm just not there yet.
Doc

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2011-05-05 12:58 PM


I love the curves that you throw at us.  I don't miss any of your poetry.  I just have to catch up sometimes.

Alison

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2011-05-05 04:45 AM


Dear Doc, I highly enjoyed traveling along your "Voyage of Days". Your skills create top quality reads!

Love,
Margherita  

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
5 posted 2011-05-05 07:01 AM


Alison & Marherita,
You two ladies are far too kind, thanks very much for your replies.
Doc

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2011-05-05 06:24 PM


Yep, they are too kind, for sure!   Back to the workshop for you, doc!
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
7 posted 2011-05-08 10:55 AM


Balladeer,
I assume you're referring to the last quatrain wherein I have deviated from
" A B A A " to "B B A A ". I'm not sure,
but I almost think I remember that was an acceptable variation  which still met the forms requirements. Thanks for catching it, and I'll get back to you on that after some more research.
Doc

Nope, chalk another one up for Balladeer. I was unable to find any instances where " B B A A " was used in the villanelle format " A B A A " it is.

Doc

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2011-05-08 08:15 PM


I knew you would see that, Doc. It's actually a point in your favor that you knew what you were doing and simply thought there was an exception to allow for it.

I'm also a little confused as to the meter. I'm guessing that the first and third lines are anapestic because I can make that work on all but the first line of the second stanza but, as far as the middle lines I'm a little lost (which is nothing new for me!)

Help me out here???

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
9 posted 2011-05-09 07:05 AM


Balladeer,
Thanks. Once again you are correct (no surprise there) about the meter's variation.
I could lie and say I was experimenting with "Falling Meter"  in the middle lines to see how it would work with the Anapestic,
or I could be honest and just say I let my mind wander on this one. Perhaps something actually written in "Falling Meter" would be a good class exercise?
Doc

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » Voyage of Days

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary