truth between her fingers - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2011-04-11 07:31 PM

She sat there with such an idol oddity
Her fingers seemed to scan the grass
All around her

Seemed to pick at her index fingers
Just enough that it made her fidget

Her hair was a bit darker
Than her light, brown shoes

Light brown like her closet
Holding its clothes so dear
You could see the same stitching on each sleeve
From the past 20 years.

She wore jewelry on each hand
On her right, she carried the ring from her late Grandmother
A small golden band with a silver diamond in the middle

It had its wear and tear
Through the droughts and the wars
But it stayed alive

Her other hand carried
The ring of her mother
With a small ruby resting in the very center

She sat there with all the memories
The jewelry, the clothes
But the tears of her past
Simply couldnÕt reconcile with her idol fingers

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2011-04-11 07:39 PM

Tomer,

the metaphors carried the poem!

Well done!

dreamgal
Member

since 2011-03-17

Posts 442

2 posted 2011-04-11 09:38 PM

I've got nothing but praise for this.
Good read.

Dreamgal

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2011-04-11 10:48 PM

Interesting poem, Tomer. Your use of the word "idol" captivated me.

~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

4 posted 2011-04-12 01:37 AM

Hi Tomer, I love the texture of the poem, the idole dependance of the person you artfully painted. really enjoyed it.

yann

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

5 posted 2011-04-12 05:54 PM

Thanks, Sunshine. Appreciate the kind words

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

6 posted 2011-04-12 05:54 PM

Thanks, Dreamgal. Always appreciate your comments. Hope all is well

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

7 posted 2011-04-12 05:55 PM

Jerry, always good to hear your thoughts. Take care

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

8 posted 2011-04-12 05:56 PM

Yann

Thanks so much. Happy it captivated you. Peoples hands can truly be windows into their thoughts.

Cheers

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

9 posted 2011-04-15 03:50 PM

Oh, oh, oh! Words fail me, except beautiful and sooooooooooo real I could see her right in front of me!

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

10 posted 2011-04-15 10:15 PM

nice write...a very vivid portrayal...exactly what words were meant to be used for...well done...

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

11 posted 2011-04-16 09:25 AM

especially the hands of older folk, my friend.
You captured the scene very well, and one was unobtrusively standing there, just out of sight, watching.

j.

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

12 posted 2011-04-17 06:53 PM

Thanks, Owl...happy it resonated.

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

13 posted 2011-04-17 06:54 PM

Thanks Steve and J. Happy the words came to life.

Cheers

bentobo
New Member

since 2011-04-18

Posts 7

14 posted 2011-04-18 02:12 PM

really made me visualize it and be 'in the moment' - thanks

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

15 posted 2011-04-18 02:28 PM

Thanks, Bentobo...happy you enjoyed. Take care

Cheers

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

16 posted 2011-04-18 07:36 PM

Fine writing...James

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

17 posted 2011-04-18 10:15 PM

Oooh! This is right up my alley, enjoyed this..very, very much.

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

18 posted 2011-04-19 04:51 PM

Thanks, Kaoru...happy you enjoyed. Take care

Cheers

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.