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Open Poetry #47
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Fabiani
Member
since 2006-05-12
Posts 123
Mesa, Az

0 posted 2011-04-10 02:23 PM



Water Blankets the desert, the clouds loom and billow

You are so far way

I see the reflections of the city life beaming off the concrete, invading my senses

The rain feels pensive on my skin and the moisture permeates my nostrils

With every step a splash of recognition, the constant beat echos my thoughts

© Copyright 2011 Jose Luis Fabiani Jr. - All Rights Reserved
dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

1 posted 2011-04-10 02:27 PM


This is so beautifully conveyed, great write
here.

Dreamgal

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
2 posted 2011-04-10 06:58 PM


I love this, Fabiani, especially all of it (lol) and imbibed and savoured every nuance of it slowly, not wishing to leave one image too soon before going on to the next.  More especially I loved the last 2 lines, and most especially the secondlast line.

Owl

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2011-04-10 08:00 PM


What a great picture you've painted, even the emotions you depict are wonderfully vivid.

Excellent poem, enjoyed very much so.

Fabiani
Member
since 2006-05-12
Posts 123
Mesa, Az
4 posted 2011-04-10 08:05 PM


thank you for your insights Ive recently started writing again I had forgot how therapeutic it is for me and I'm sure for many. I am glad I still can access the poet inside of me and your kind words are indispensable to my confidence in my abilities. I was afraid for the longest time that I couldn't write anymore. I see now that i was wrapped in a self fulfilling prophecy.

I will definitely continue to write more and I believe this site is a muse in and of its self, connecting like minded people with a beautiful bounty of words and emotions to absorb.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
5 posted 2011-04-11 02:13 PM


What a beautiful and gracious response!  Yes, Pip is a home with a hearth and a heart!

Owl

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
6 posted 2011-04-11 02:15 PM


You managed to bring rain to a dry arid desert with your words of 'O so lonely for you."
I liked very much

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