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Open Poetry #47

Dark Despair..

dreamgal
Member

since 2011-03-17

Posts 442

0 posted 2011-04-09 09:34 AM

A last flicker of hope,
like a candle burning
out at its last hour.
A cold wind in the
darkness, like eyes
that squint to see a
glimpse of eden.
Treacherous trails,
of sadness align
as she clings to
the light.
In desperate paces
she fights for gasps
of breath, as the
candle slowly burns
out.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

1 posted 2011-04-09 11:07 AM

Aah, but when the candle has burnt out, there is still the light in your heart to spark the stars and the moon in preparation for a skyful of sun the next day!

Owl

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-04-09 11:28 AM

Perfectly written and despair rules the day in the Poeish poem as the object of this horror watching the candle and her life slowly fade away. I agree with Owl, however, there is hope even as the candle is being extinguished.

~ When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. ~

dreamgal
Member

since 2011-03-17

Posts 442

3 posted 2011-04-09 01:55 PM

Thank you both for your imput, i always appreciate it.

*smiles*
Dreamgal

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

4 posted 2011-04-09 08:50 PM

dark but beautifully expressed...a fine poem

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

5 posted 2011-04-10 09:40 AM

good representation as the candlelight dims, what ensues.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

6 posted 2011-04-10 09:46 AM

In total darkness we are forced to look for the light and fire that dwells within our core ...if we don't give in to fear, that's the greatest gift of awareness.

Very powerful expressions, dear Dreamgal.

Love,
Margherita

dreamgal
Member

since 2011-03-17

Posts 442

7 posted 2011-04-11 01:02 AM

I want to thank all of you for taking the time out to read and comment on my poetry.
I always appreciate it truly.

Dreamgal
*smiles*

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