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Open Poetry #47
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dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442


0 posted 2011-04-08 11:46 PM



Will you take my hand,
and walk with me,
in the splendor of
this day?
We'll play & giggle
in silly tones,
and sing all
darkness away.
We'll remember
when...and skip
like kids and
act like fools
in the light.
With innocence and
youthful glee, we'll
bask in pure delight.
Here take my hand,
lets be the child
we lost so long ago
lets skin our knees,
chase honeybees,
lay down and look
at the sky. And remember
when just one more day,
when we thought that we
could fly.....

© Copyright 2011 dreamgal - All Rights Reserved
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
1 posted 2011-04-09 12:49 PM


and pick Humus flowers?  I love this; it has a very whimsical feel to it.

A

dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

2 posted 2011-04-09 12:56 PM


Yea hummus sounds good!! lol
Thanks, i wanted it to have a whimsical
feel.

*smiles*
Dreamgal

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2011-04-11 11:33 AM


this is beautiful...if I could change one word in it though, it would be "thought" to "know" to read "know that we could fly" but, that is just me...
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
4 posted 2011-04-11 11:45 AM


"We'll remember
when...and skip
like kids and
act like fools
in the light. "

Love that! So fits and brings back the 'crazy' days. Neat write!!

j.

dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

5 posted 2011-04-11 11:46 AM


Thank you Steven for reading and commenting i appreciate it, and you know your correct it does sound and make more sense for this write to change "thought" to know.

Dreamgal
*smiles*

dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

6 posted 2011-04-11 12:05 PM


And thank you jwesley for stopping by glad you enjoyed it and appreciate the comments.
I gotta say (not to brag) but i did like the line "act like fools in the light" and alot of my writing i dont neccesarily like
i just write because i love it.
Thanks again,
Dreamgal

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
7 posted 2011-04-11 12:12 PM


I liked it all. Fools in the light. Great redo of the old standard. Great getting back to youthful standards write.

~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~

dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

8 posted 2011-04-11 12:18 PM


Thanks Jerry as always!!

Dreamgal

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
9 posted 2011-04-11 01:07 PM


Wonderful blast to past and silly is the sweet in my cup of tea!
Lori

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
10 posted 2011-04-11 01:53 PM


if you were aiming for whimsical i would say you succeeded with this one...i like the feel of it...enjoyed this one a lot

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

11 posted 2011-04-11 06:06 PM


Thank you Faith!!

Dreamgal

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
12 posted 2011-04-12 04:09 AM


Delightful, dear Dreamgal, just after my own heart ... of course I still know how to fly, even if my knees aren't that elastic anymore to get started... but my wings are always in place.

Sweet and lovely.

Love,
Margherita

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