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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2011-04-06 11:29 PM



A Journal Entry of Some Today, Some of Yesterday, And a Little of a Few Days Ago

Some Today

Since you weren’t present, I’m writing to you.
I trust you will read this, one way or another…
Today was great, and I’m exhausted, because
truth be told? My still inexperienced husband
of a second marriage some 30 years plus
[yes, the one you know]
said the wrong thing the right way, and I took
advantage.

I hired back my cleaning lady.
GRIN.

And truth be told a second time around,
it wasn’t me sitting back but me
matching the cleaning lady moment
for moment, because
now that I’ve entered the
work force again, let’s face it …
himself wasn’t keeping up!

Some of Yesterday

Yesterday was fantastically fabulous.
We hit the circuit for the poetry readings
for the month of April nearly in full force
as a group, some four of us from
our immediate membership, plus a wife, and then
a friend arrived and we allowed as she should join us.
As it was, there was a depth of space that should have
held your chair.

We were told that Albert Goldbarth was a
Dave Smith…
and you and I had seen/heard/admired/read/bought
the books of Dave Smith.
I thought that disclosure mighty high-falutin’ in tone and
I almost readied myself to be disappointed

but I wasn’t. Hell no and go ahead, I thought,
read some more, let Louise laugh! as we all were, even
as he tried to get the SRO audience to leave, with his
understanding that he and it might all be too much…
but I believe that much to his surprise,
we weren’t so hoity-toity as to
believe that his stuff, with
religion and cussing and all…
was much too much at all.
Especially since he was following some years previous
Dave Smith. So I took notes, and
I will be discovering some of those of whom he spoke,
and it was, over and above all of his words and more…
marvelous.

A few Days Ago…

I spent time with your sisters in Abilene recently.
We had lunch at a now-closed woman’s dress shoppe
currently reopened into a book store with a
sandwich shoppe attached, where one can order
a drink or a lunch or both and return to a chair
not necessarily under the small tent for those just eating,
but where one could peruse books as they munched
on a sandwich and admire the s/talkers who walk around
gossiping of the place as it use to be when women would
come in and try on dresses of past eras

and if you could have seen the bathroom, Louise,
you knew some of those dresses had to have been
ball gowns, for the rest room was also the
dressing room with the biggest, widest mirror
I have ever seen, all intact, surrounded by
curtains and greenery and the passageway from
lunch room to dressing room/rest room was…

Miraculous! And then I thought….
‘Louise was probably
here in this very dressing room at one time….
because she was a child of Abilene!!!’


The day didn’t end there. It has been nearly seven months since
your passing, and your sisters called and said, “The monument is set;
come with us, please. To see if we did right.”

Oh, my darling friend. They did so right.

You see, today I thought of you because
when we were together, it was the cleaning lady
who allowed me the time to make sure I could come see you
without feeling guilty that the housework wasn’t done.

And Yesterday would have been yet another year we would have gone
to listen to the first of the month’s fabulously picked poets for
April’s Poetry Month at Mokas.

And so, it was that in those few days ago…when

Your sisters took me to a road that I can now find for myself
to the place where you rest, because your monument
had been placed, and they asked me,
“did we do all right” and oh, my dear friend,
what could not be right, when they honor your Celtic birthright,
as well as your words. And there you are…in toto,
in absolute, in Kansas.

Forever.

        

But it was this photo that made me remember
your sisters’ stories…because one of them always took
photos with shadows and such, and when I saw this
I said to them, “well, she’s not the only one who sees things
in photos….and there you are, with legs standing, and all.

        

I love you.
I miss you.
And you will
never be alone.


© KRJ 4-6-2011


© Copyright 2011 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
1 posted 2011-04-07 02:54 AM


..i never know what to say when the
subject is as delicate as this..found the
entire part about your friend, who passed,
very moving.>spiros
-----------------
---------------------

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2011-04-07 09:15 AM


Your love, your beautiful soul, your sensitivity here made for a deeply gratifying read, dear Karilea.

It's beautiful that you talk to her and I am so glad that you shared this with us. Very touching gravestone, with her words too. Yes, the sisters did it right!

Thank you for taking me with you, I enjoyed the journey, very much.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
3 posted 2011-04-07 10:42 AM


So very touching, dear Karilea.  You paid a fine tribute with this write.  The "missing" always stays for a long time but when we think of those who have passed, we honour them.

Thank you for sharing.
Helen

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2011-04-07 11:09 AM


I'm with Spiros in thought at this moment. Still, being me I have to say something and so I shall. This read like something out of a Readers Digest, and I hope you will like that analogy. Why? Because, like Readers Digest we were given just a portion of your love and deep conviction for your friend. There will be others similar to come.

However, this gossipy journal has given us a look into your soul, and that look, as fleeting as it may have been, was, as your name implies, pure sunshine. It filled the page, it caressed each and every word with the love for your friend and the pain because she is no longer here. I liked this so much, because it was gossipy, Sunshine, and I say that in the absolute best sense of the word, and I imagine she feels the same thing, besides, she needed to catch up on things.

~ If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly. ~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
5 posted 2011-04-07 11:46 AM


I would consider this the best piece I've read by you my friend - out of so many, many beautiful words, the best of the best.

j.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2011-04-07 12:37 PM


Wesley stole the words out of my mouth.  Of all your beautiful poetry, this is the most beautiful and the most spontaneous, Karilea.  I absolutely love it.  I held out until about 2/3 through and am then dissolved into tears again.  There has been so much sad poetry today - or rather, it was today that I saw it (have had no Internet connection for days).  I think I will have to read Lori's one about the Harley just before I go out of Pip.  Sorry for the rambling and thank you for your beautiful poem, and if I may be so bold (because I didn't know her, even though she was on Pip), thank you on behalf of Louise.

Owl

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2011-04-10 01:03 PM


She taught me a lot about journaling, but I
never felt I had the hang of it...
until now.

Thank you ALL!

Love, K

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2011-04-10 07:37 PM


Not only has Louise found a way to connect with you still, but also a way for you to connect with so many of us who love you.  I felt as if you were writing to me as well.  Thank you, Sissie, for giving so much still to this loving relationship.
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