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Open Poetry #47
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Lilee
Junior Member
since 2011-04-03
Posts 16
U.S.A

0 posted 2011-04-03 05:36 PM


This poem is about my lovely 18 year old sister.  She has Avoidant Personality Disorder, and is depressed.  It's kind of about what being inside of her head must feel like...  
Love you, Abby.

~~~~

You carry around a bag filled with glass and tin
You cannot see what is within
Your eyes water
Blurred and starry
There is no reason to say sorry

To you the sky is streaked cold grey
Why do you live here, anyway
You don’t know that you’ll be okay
Dumpsters fill all the alleyways

The hills are covered in dead grass
Time has stopped,
No seasons have passed
You stay here
No words, no love
No life up above

Painted screens fill your bedroom
A lonely, dusty tomb
There is no light,
Though its afternoon
A stony, musty cocoon

You carry around a bag filled with brass and gin
You cannot see what is within
Your eyes water
Blurred and starry
It’s me who should say I’m sorry


~*~*~

© Copyright 2011 Lilee - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2011-04-03 06:25 PM


this is very good! It certainly gives the reader empathy for your sister. The tenderness with which it was written comes through. well done!
Lori

Lilee
Junior Member
since 2011-04-03
Posts 16
U.S.A
2 posted 2011-04-03 07:08 PM


Thank you. =)

~*~*~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2011-04-03 07:29 PM


Avoidant Personality Disorder. A new one to me. I hope she can conquer it. Heck, I just looked it up, That's me, or has been me for a huge portion of my life.

~ If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly. ~

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2011-04-04 11:39 PM


Wow.  This is powerful and wonderful.  I am so glad that you explained that it is to your sister and why you wrote it. It made it even more heartfelt to me.

Welcome to PiP.

Alison

Lilee
Junior Member
since 2011-04-03
Posts 16
U.S.A
5 posted 2011-04-05 05:47 PM


Thank you, I'm glad you see what I'm trying to show through this.

~*~*~

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