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OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2011-03-29 03:51 PM



THEY DIDN’T KNOW
27 March 2011

I have never wondered
who I am,
nor needed
to find myself,
nor wonder
what the meaning of life is.

From as early
- and I mean early –
as I can remember
I knew exactly
who I am.

However, my parents didn’t.
Granted, they both fed me
good poetry and classical music
which indelibly soaked my soul
and my mother taught me
to do the right thing
and what the right thing is
- ironical that.

They didn’t know
I touched the velvet
of green hillslopes
with the fingers of my soul
as we drove by.

They didn’t know
I bounced on clouds,
nor that I flew with birds,
nor that I understood melancholy
as deeply as I do now,
nor that I stroked it’s beauty
into the music of composers
whose names I didn’t know,
nor that I would gaze
at the print of Miss Innocence
on my bedroom wall
in her yellow dress and hair ribbon
where she sat just showing the tips of her barefeet
under the spread of her dress,
nor that I delved deep into the impressionistic smudge
of dark silhouetted trees far behind her
and made up stories about the woods.

My parents didn’t know
I danced dreams,
only that I won RLS’ Child’s Garden of Verses
when I was five years old,
which I still have today.

They didn’t know
I made up a ball game for one
to play on the back verandah
with complex rules I never broke.

They didn’t know
I had my favourite branch of a mango tree
on which I sat and dreamed,
with another short one for my feet.
I can see it now.
It was under that tree
that I received my first kiss . . .
I was four or five, I think . . .
It was from Peter
from next door.
He had a (toy) car – a sportscar red one –
it seated us both,
but he let me drive it on my own too.
It is, to this day, one of my most favourite cars . . .

Bennie, from round the corner,
gave me my first ring.
The stone was beige and heart-shaped
and came from a lucky packet.
I loved that ring . . .

No, my parents didn’t know me,
nor my five cousins whom I hardly ever saw,
nor my friends, nor my boyfriends,
nor my husband,
nor even my children,
though they think they do.

But I know me
and I like me
and that
is what counts
the most
. . . I suppose . . .

Owl

© Copyright 2011 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved
Dead End Chase
New Member
since 2009-01-22
Posts 6

1 posted 2011-03-29 04:07 PM


Very powerful and profound. Could really relate to this. Thanks for sharing. It made many of my own childhood memories and "secrets" circulate in my brain as I read. Nicely done.
dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

2 posted 2011-03-29 06:26 PM


Oh this was so special I really loved it.
I can relate to so much of it thats what touched me so much. I think for many of us theres so many "secrets" and worlds we live in as children, (and some as adults) im sure. It sounds like you were so gifted even as a child such imagination, and grace.
Loved it, thanks for sharing, I havent felt this moved by words in a while.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2011-03-29 08:59 PM


You were lucky.

Sometimes we poets (speaking for myself now) write our poems about our lives as though we (still speaking of myself here) are whining. I'm quite sure it can get tiresome.

~ OK, so what's the speed of dark? ~

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
4 posted 2011-03-29 09:34 PM


quite a powerfully personal 'write' !!
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2011-03-29 11:25 PM


I suppose you are are right (smiles) and I suppose we are extremely lucky to read parts of you like this.  We know things that others don't because you offer us the gift of "you".  I love this poem.  It's amazing ... and so are you.

Alison

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2011-03-30 12:16 PM


Thank you, Dead End Chase.  I am glad you found it so.  

Thank you, dreamgal.  I found YOUR reply very moving and was very touched by it.

Thank you, Jerry.  I am not quite sure what you meant I was lucky about, but yes I agree I have been very lucky throughout my life.  Smiles.  I am sure many of my poems are whining and tiresome, but poems are conceived and born and need to take breath, but for the most part, other poets are very understanding about our needs to write such poems.  

Thank you, Bruce.  I am glad you enjoyed it.

Thank you, Alison for your lovely reply.  

I omitted to say in the poem that it seems to me that my Pip friends know (most of) me the best.  They don't know the bad parts (I don't think) of me, although I try to explain them from time to time.  I have just realised what an insult my poem is to my Pip friends, but I know that you (and I hope that all other Pipster readers) know that I didn't mean it that way.  When I said that my friends don't know me, I was talking TO my Pip friends ABOUT my non-Pip and non-other-poet friends.

Strange that, now that I think of it.  It is not just that you are cyber-friends, and only get to see what I show consciously.  Other cyber-friends (that aren't poets) over the years haven't known me at all the way Pipsters and other fellow-poets have.  It must be the way that poets read, understand (in both senses of the word) and care.

Owl

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
7 posted 2011-03-30 12:41 PM


What a rich childhood, Owl...and an obvious poetic, dreamers soul     Thanks for allowing us a little peek into your youth, and I have to say...it`s well that we always hold those magic parts of ourselves apart...that `little place apart` where dreams are nourished.  A pleasure to read you!

.
Amaryllis

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2011-03-30 01:23 AM


Yes, I suppose, Amaryllis, that I did have a rich childhood.  I didn't really realise it until you said so.  Perhaps that is what Jerry meant.  Yes, you are right too that we certainly do need to have those little secret parts of us.  Perhaps in keeping them secret, we guard those parts from criticism and damage from others.  I was bemoaning the fact that mine were secret, but now I see that it was probably a good thing.  Thank you for that.

Owl

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
9 posted 2011-03-31 07:24 AM


this is superb and trustful, no one can know you better than yourself, the poem has a beautiful morale and the images about your family outstanding, I am not fond of long poem, but diana this one was a true enchantment..

yann

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2011-03-31 09:44 AM


lady Owl...

it is funny how we find ourselves in that mirror or window and no one else ever sees us there..well perhaps every now and then one does.  enjoyed you here lady!!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
11 posted 2011-03-31 04:03 PM


Thank you, Yann, for your sensitive, beautiful reply.

Thank you, Dark Stranger, I love your metaphor about the mirror/window and the perhaps one.

Owl

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2011-04-01 08:16 AM


Well written, my friend - and I think we somewhat always see 'ourselves' differently than others do, and that 'they know us' better, in many cases, than we do ourselves.

The eyes that look directly into a mirror always see things differently than do the ones that look over our shoulder, or from the side - and not always better or more completely.

The ones directly looking see what we feel we know, while those others, they see truth in what we show.

Which is right or wrong is beyond the grasp of both.

Much enjoyed the read, my friend.

j.


Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
13 posted 2011-04-01 11:57 AM


quote:
They didn’t know
I touched the velvet
of green hillslopes
with the fingers of my soul
as we drove by.



Parents are usually very busy people all over the world. In your case I dare say that whatever they have transmitted to you, it formed surely the basics for your journey through life that made  you what you are now. And it allows you now to love yourself the way you are. Isn't that just great?

Sometimes parents don't let their children know that they know, because they don't deem it necessary, but often they do know but fear a non adherence to reality for their dreamy children. We are all so fortunate that you continued to "touch the hillslopes with the fingers of your soul"!

Very intense write, dear Diana.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
14 posted 2011-04-01 12:33 PM


Thank you, Jimmy.  That is an interesting perspective.

Thank you, my very dear friend, Margherita.  I am sure you are right in everything you say, generally speaking, but you are far too nice even to imagine what my parents were like!  Smiles.

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

15 posted 2011-04-01 12:54 PM


good for you...I agree with Margherita in that memorable choice of lines...

"They didn’t know
I touched the velvet
of green hillslopes
with the fingers of my soul
as we drove by."

...I can so relate to that & I certainly enjoyed it...it was a pleasingly comfortable read

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
16 posted 2011-04-01 08:51 PM


This is powerful and beautiful on so many levels, Diana. I can't begin to describe how it made me feel. Just a feeling of kinship I guess.
                               Ida

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
17 posted 2011-04-01 11:09 PM


Thank you for sharing.I think so many of us live a quiet inner life that no one knows about. It has been our secret shelter and brought us to a place where we can really like ourselves. We show only a small part of ourselves to others, only the part we feel they will like and understand. It is  kind of hard to share too much. And that is why I thank you for sharing this. So many people pass through our lives and each only know a part of us and we only a part of them. Makes life interesting if nothing else.  Best to you, jo
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
18 posted 2011-04-03 10:58 AM


Thank you, Steaven.  I am glad you enjoyed it and understood exactly what I meant.

Ida, I am extremely honoured that it made you feel kinship with me.  Thank you.  Smiles.  I am glad you enjoyed it so much too.

Thank you, Jo.  You are so right.  However, I feel I am allowed to be myself in Pip.  There are so many places where I extract this or that part of me before entering, knowing that it won’t be appreciated nor understood, but Pip is such a lovely warm, welcoming place.  

Owl

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