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Open Poetry #47
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Alison
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since 2008-01-27
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2011-03-28 12:46 PM


Silver sheen suspended light
Shrouded crystal foggy night
Frozen air shaped shards of ice
Dimmest glow shone to entice
Cast upon snow banks of white

Cold snapped with its bitter bite
Trees, skeletal, huddled tight
Branches dreamed of dawning day
As they danced  with gentle sway
Hoping for warmth of sun light

When the darkness took to flight
Joy reigned true on chilled daylight
Dawn created colors bold
Strokes of art in pink and gold
Lit by morning sun rays bright

Alison

(this was a re-write of a poem that I posted as "aziza")


© Copyright 2011 Alison - All Rights Reserved
EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
1 posted 2011-03-28 09:24 AM


That's really nice with either title.
I can vividly see your crystal visions.

Misty Lilacs
Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060
White Birch Forest
2 posted 2011-03-28 09:57 AM


Sound like the morning I am experiencing here! Very cold but beautifully bright. This is a great piece of writing my friend.

ooxx  Marti

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2011-03-28 05:52 PM


quote:
Branches dreamed of dawning day
As they danced  with gentle sway



You rendered the magic perfectly, dear Alison!

Wondrous scenery and brrrrrrrrrr ... it's cold I feel it. Great job!

Love,
Margherita

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
4 posted 2011-03-28 08:27 PM


very beautifully written with such vivid imagery...i too could feel the cold...great poem

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2011-03-28 09:12 PM


You made the scene come alive in this one Alison.
From a cold cold night til the morning light. Loved the images you created in shadows of the cold night. I've been there.....smile...
It's just amazing the imaginary images and colors that come off sunlight on frozen ice.
Has a calming effect as nature's art entertains.
Well done!!

Eric

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2011-03-29 02:39 PM


Oh, this is lovely, Alison (as though anything you write isn't! - so that was a stupid thing to say).  I can feel myself hugging myself for warmth as I gaze, speechless, at my iced and silent Alaskan night and God-painted dawning.  

Owl

Marchmadness
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since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
7 posted 2011-04-01 09:06 PM


Only you can make freezing cold sound like paradise, Alison.
                               Ida

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2011-04-01 10:09 PM


loved the cadence and the vivid imagery, especially the phrase "Frozen air shaped shards of ice"...mighty, mighty good stuff here
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
9 posted 2011-04-02 01:44 AM


EmmaRose,

Thank you so much.  I am glad you can see what I see.

Alison

-

Marti,

They say that spring is on the way - somewhere.

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Thank you, lovely Margherita.

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Eric,

I loved that you enjoyed this and could see the picture.

Alison

-

Owl,

Thank you for peeking into my world.

Love,
Alison

-

Ida,

It is paradise - just a bit frozen most of the time.

xoxo
Alison

-

Steaven,

Thank you so much, my friend.

Alison

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
10 posted 2011-04-02 10:31 PM


My teeth are chattering!  Bitter bite for sure, but the beauty is one of nature's very own art that holds me spell bound in your description.  I live where the weather is mild most of the year, so I'm very spoiled.  Your wordpaint takes me there, and I hear the weight of winter!  ~KL
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
11 posted 2011-04-03 02:47 AM


Hey, Karen.   Thanks for reading and feeling the chill.  It's a bit cold here, but is is beautiful too.

Alison

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

12 posted 2011-04-03 06:39 AM


I'll never know how that whole state doesn't just thaw and flood the world with your ever warm heart up there melting the bumps off the geese...

This poem, like you, is forever lovely.

Sweetly done dear Ali.
Richard

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
13 posted 2011-04-03 08:55 AM


So is your poem, beautiful, Alison. I have some family who live in Fairbanks, and they love it there.  A few years ago, a thief was stealing one of the snowmobiles and my cousin went out and tackled him in his nothing but his undershorts.  He was blue as a Smurf in short order, but persisted and won with the help of his wife and a shotgun.  You Alaskans are a hardy bunch, with true grit.  It's a treat to see life there through your poetry, Alison.   )  

Lilee
Junior Member
since 2011-04-03
Posts 16
U.S.A
14 posted 2011-04-03 10:22 AM


Beautiful poem!  It's really vivid, while reading it you can see a perfect scene in your mind.

~*~*~

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
15 posted 2011-04-04 10:55 PM


Awww, Richard, thank you.  Just don't blame Global Warming on me. Okay?  xoxoxox to you, my friend.

Ali

-

Karen,

This is a pretty fantastic state - well, at least, I am partial to it.  It's beautiful here.

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Lilee,

Thank you so much for making me one of your first PiP comments.  What an honor to bestow upon me!  Welcome and thank you.

Alison

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