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Open Poetry #47
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twistedpup
Member
since 2011-02-25
Posts 115


0 posted 2011-03-27 09:51 PM



The man i would be...
would wake up in the morning
strech shower and do my thing.
I wouldnt sit and pee.
I play video games more then watch tv.
I'd work hard and play just as hard,
kinda like i do already.

The man i would be...
Would try to understand her needs,
give her everything,
show her she means the world to me.
I wouldn't take her for granted,
i'd listen, when she vented.

The man i would be...
Being the best man i could be.
Be her hero, not her criptinite
I wouldnt make her cry,
if she did, and it was over me,
i'd apologize.

The man i would be...
Would txt her just to say hi
See how she is, how her day is going.
Wouldnt get upset over the little things.
Let her hang with who ever she wanted,
give her the benefit of the doubt,
just like she'd give me.

The man i would be...
Is all the things listed above,
just these things mean the world
to a girl like me.

The man i would be,
would give this poem
another read.

*hugs*

© Copyright 2011 twistedpup - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2011-03-28 09:30 PM


Very interesting perspective Twisted.
I really like how the ending brought me around to another aspect of appreciation.

Eric

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
2 posted 2011-03-29 11:35 PM


Yep, me too.  Very interesting.

Alison

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
3 posted 2011-03-30 12:55 PM


Not that I am a man, but I gave the poem another read anyway!  

I think what you are saying (and that is nothing about confusing your gender at all), is that you are very much a girl or woman, but that you don't like certain things about boys/men (or some boys/men, or most likely, one particular boy/man) and you are saying that if you were him that is how you would be - in other words that is how you would like him to be - and that you aren't asking for something that is difficult or that you couldn't be yourself if you were him.

Owl

gordmer
Junior Member
since 2011-01-15
Posts 18
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2011-03-30 05:49 AM


loved it... and I am a man,,,

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
5 posted 2011-03-30 03:26 PM


Well, sitting and peeing doesn't wouldn't make the man you would be any less...

The man you would be seems to have 'his/her' soul in the right place, and that's what counts.

Enjoyed reading this and about the butterfly, my friend.

j.

twistedpup
Member
since 2011-02-25
Posts 115

6 posted 2011-03-30 09:18 PM


thank you all so much, these were the best feedback/comments to read ive gotten yet. also, this poem was directed to a couple of men in my life actually.
again thank you and i hope you all keep reading my work.

*hugs*

porky118
Junior Member
since 2011-03-31
Posts 15
minnesota
7 posted 2011-03-31 12:50 PM


i liked this one very much i am a man and i read this atleat 4 times. the men this is directed toward in ur life right now need to shape up or lose you and i know i dont wanna lose you
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