navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » vulgar vows of sister twain
Open Poetry #47
Post A Reply Post New Topic vulgar vows of sister twain Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-06-16 07:54 AM


she said she always used to think of leaving
of catching a ride out of this city
but she lived on a dead end street
in a south central el nowhere town

said there is a lot more traffic now
from that mexican family, family owned  
mortuary that sends their cadillacs down
every week or two to the restful pines

to drop off another of her neighbors
that died from too much lead in the blood
or from finally being a little too slow
to cut another before being cut themselves

said she plants flowers now in her yard
so she won't have to buy quite so many
and will have a few nickels left around
to pay in full for her own black car ride

she said she never thinks of leaving now

____________

daark (highway series)

[This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (06-16-2011 12:20 PM).]

© Copyright 2011 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2011-06-16 01:09 PM


No, she can't leave...
she's responsible now
for picking up the pieces
and saying the prayers
and laying the flowers
before they die a natural death.

Well done, m'friend.


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2011-06-16 01:20 PM


thanks to you, nice lady sun..
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2011-06-17 12:18 PM


I wonder where she would go if she could.  Maybe some place where she could plant flowers simply to enjoy their beauty.

I like this, DS.

Ali-san

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2011-06-17 12:49 PM


You have caught the bitter truth of aging in this impressively realistic poem. Funerals become more numerous and sister twain slowly gets used to the thought of leaving ... not to move to another place down here, but to simply move on.

I do believe she does enjoy her flowers, even if she planted them for a special purpose. They show us the natural process in such a touching way, blooming with passion and withering with grace ...

You moved me with this outstanding write.

Love,
Margherita

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2011-06-17 04:04 AM


You touch my spirit.

(sounds so corny but it's true...)

I feel so fortunate to have read you for so many years--thank you.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2011-06-17 06:22 AM


ms ali-san, thank you for the like little one...you are a blessing

_______________

ms mar, thanks to you lady friend for your reads and comments.

_________________

serene 1..you grace my humble pen with your eyes and leave superglue on my chapstick...thanks special lady

Namyh
Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988

7 posted 2011-06-17 06:01 PM


Dark Stranger - We can so easily become resigned to our fate and relinguish our dreams. This was an intriguing work. Namyh
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2011-06-17 06:05 PM


Thanks friend
katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
9 posted 2011-06-17 07:25 PM


I agree with everyone here, not much more to say except Nicely done, enjoyed.
Kat >^..^<

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2011-06-18 07:25 AM


thanks kat..
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » vulgar vows of sister twain

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary