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Open Poetry #47
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Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2011-03-22 12:27 PM


When the wind cries to the sea
Sea gull screams drown out her fears
Fears once dormant in her breast
Her breast covered now with tears

Tears that slide from hidden eyes
Eyes that begged once to be blind
Blind to loss, to death, to dreams
Dreams now distant, out of mind

Mind the wind and thrashing tides
Tides erase all signs of life
Life that died in winter storm
Storms that cut like sharpest knife

-

Alison

© Copyright 2011 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

1 posted 2011-03-22 04:57 AM


Ali, what a powerful poem you have here... the wind and waves like our memory coming in and taking away many of our thoughts and dreams, whether we want it to or not...

This is one of my favorites from you!
Richard

Anoo
Member
since 2011-01-23
Posts 55
UK
2 posted 2011-03-22 06:05 AM


Beautiful use of lang. in relation to a tearful incident.
I love the sad tone of the poem.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2011-03-22 11:40 AM


ms ali-san..it reminds me of trying to call a friend and getting  a recording,,"the person you are dialing is not accepting calls right now..please try again later"

and later is says the same thing..hopeless

enjoyed your pen here

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2011-03-22 12:06 PM


Alison, this takes my breath away.  I ache for the pain that you (or whoever the poem is about – whether fact or fiction) feel, but know, that (if it is about you – and hope, if it is not about you) like the phoenix, you (or whoever) will rise and conquer those fears and sorrows and hurts of loss and death, to be lifted by the very waves that pounded on you (or her) on to the shore to breathe deeply the magic of Alaska into your soul and so to believe in your (or her) dreams again.  A very beautiful poem, Alison.

Owl

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
5 posted 2011-03-22 03:12 PM


Yes a beautiful feel to this poem that reeks of the feeling of despair. Interesting
contrast,

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2011-03-22 07:40 PM


I am impressed by the vivid emotions this poem conveys right into my core, dear Alison.

Wonderful work.

Love,
Margherita

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2011-03-23 02:40 PM


Alison, you are like a fine Bordeaux that improves with age. Your pen is maturing gracefully.

I love to watch seagulls and have collected a few (not real ones, silly goose!) ~ porcelain! lol

My love for seagulls began with the old movie "Jonathan Livingston Seagull". I am fascinated by them and love to watch their graceful flight against the sky.



Love you!
Linder Lou

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
8 posted 2011-03-23 07:34 PM


this is VERY effectively 'powerful' !

a 'write' most fine!!

katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
9 posted 2011-03-23 08:34 PM


Nicely done, love the word play!
Kat >^..^<

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

10 posted 2011-03-23 10:47 PM


my only complaint on this one was that it ended way too soon...gripping write
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
11 posted 2011-03-24 11:59 AM


You are a treat to read no matter the topic. I loved this one too.
Lori

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
12 posted 2011-03-25 12:42 PM


Richard,

Thank you.  High praise from one of my favorite PiP people.  You make me smile.

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Thank you, Anoo.  It's an honor to touch you.

Alison

-

Hey DS

Whatever it takes to catch your eye here.  Ya know?  Thank you, my friend.

xoxoxo
Ali-san

-

Dear Diana,

Thank you for feeling the ache.  No, this is not me - has nothing to do with me.  I just was writing a story in my head.  I see her, but she is not me.

xoxoxo
Alison

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EmmaRose,

Thank you for reading and taking the time to let me know how the poem made you feel.  Welcome to PiP.

Alison

-

Thank you, lovely Margherita.  The Poetry Workshop is helping me stretch my wings - as are Balladeer and Doc Moose.

xoxoxo
Alison

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Linder Lou,

What a wonderful thing to say.  I feel like I have grown here as a poet and a woman.  People like you have touched me deeply, welcomed me and helped me learn.

xoxoxo
Alison

-

Bruce,

You offer me so much support here.  Thank you.

xoxoxo
A

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Kat,

Thank you.  This was such a fun poem to write and play with.

xoxoxo
A

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Steaven,

Thank you.  I understand what you mean and may have to add more to it, huh.

Alison

-

Lori

Thank you.  I feel the same way about your poetry.

xoxoxo
A


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