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Open Poetry #47
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Salted Tears (Chain Verse from Poetry Workshop)
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Salted Tears (Chain Verse from Poetry Workshop) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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When the wind cries to the sea Sea gull screams drown out her fears Fears once dormant in her breast Her breast covered now with tears Tears that slide from hidden eyes Eyes that begged once to be blind Blind to loss, to death, to dreams Dreams now distant, out of mind Mind the wind and thrashing tides Tides erase all signs of life Life that died in winter storm Storms that cut like sharpest knife - Alison |
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| © Copyright 2011 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Ali, what a powerful poem you have here... the wind and waves like our memory coming in and taking away many of our thoughts and dreams, whether we want it to or not... This is one of my favorites from you! Richard  |
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Anoo Member
since 2011-01-23
Posts 55UK |
Beautiful use of lang. in relation to a tearful incident. I love the sad tone of the poem. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ali-san..it reminds me of trying to call a friend and getting a recording,,"the person you are dialing is not accepting calls right now..please try again later" and later is says the same thing..hopeless enjoyed your pen here |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Alison, this takes my breath away. I ache for the pain that you (or whoever the poem is about – whether fact or fiction) feel, but know, that (if it is about you – and hope, if it is not about you) like the phoenix, you (or whoever) will rise and conquer those fears and sorrows and hurts of loss and death, to be lifted by the very waves that pounded on you (or her) on to the shore to breathe deeply the magic of Alaska into your soul and so to believe in your (or her) dreams again. A very beautiful poem, Alison. Owl |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
Yes a beautiful feel to this poem that reeks of the feeling of despair. Interesting contrast, |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I am impressed by the vivid emotions this poem conveys right into my core, dear Alison. Wonderful work. Love, Margherita |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Alison, you are like a fine Bordeaux that improves with age. Your pen is maturing gracefully.  I love to watch seagulls and have collected a few (not real ones, silly goose!) ~ porcelain! lol My love for seagulls began with the old movie "Jonathan Livingston Seagull". I am fascinated by them and love to watch their graceful flight against the sky.  Love you! Linder Lou |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
this is VERY effectively 'powerful' ! a 'write' most fine!! |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
Nicely done, love the word play! Kat >^..^< |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
my only complaint on this one was that it ended way too soon...gripping write |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
You are a treat to read no matter the topic. I loved this one too. Lori |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Richard, Thank you. High praise from one of my favorite PiP people. You make me smile. xoxoxo Alison - Thank you, Anoo. It's an honor to touch you. Alison - Hey DS Whatever it takes to catch your eye here. Ya know? Thank you, my friend. xoxoxo Ali-san - Dear Diana, Thank you for feeling the ache. No, this is not me - has nothing to do with me. I just was writing a story in my head. I see her, but she is not me. xoxoxo Alison - EmmaRose, Thank you for reading and taking the time to let me know how the poem made you feel. Welcome to PiP. Alison - Thank you, lovely Margherita. The Poetry Workshop is helping me stretch my wings - as are Balladeer and Doc Moose. xoxoxo Alison - Linder Lou, What a wonderful thing to say. I feel like I have grown here as a poet and a woman. People like you have touched me deeply, welcomed me and helped me learn. xoxoxo Alison - Bruce, You offer me so much support here. Thank you. xoxoxo A - Kat, Thank you. This was such a fun poem to write and play with. xoxoxo A - Steaven, Thank you. I understand what you mean and may have to add more to it, huh. Alison - Lori Thank you. I feel the same way about your poetry. xoxoxo A |
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