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Open Poetry #47
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2011-03-06 04:20 PM



IÕm trying to fill the night with my thoughts
But every thought is just a memory faded
Between the minute skyline
And the room inside my head

This place isnÕt too kind
The winter days never seem to end
Nor is it a place for a man with too much to say

The winter is my only vice
Where the cold and my thoughts
Are all I have to play with in the end

They say youÕre OK
They say that youÕre the man
That wrestles with the slow rue of those around you
But, you know this place ain't too kind

I run through the streets
Huffing on my breath
As if I was chasing a dream

But, itÕs all a scene that
The waves against the shore
Have seen too often

A dreamer without the ease of his surroundings
A chaser along the chiseled streets
This place just isnÕt too kind

You hold onto your heart
But the people say that youÕve grown too old
Well, I say my heart will know when time has passed.

I love the challenge
But sometimes I grow faint
Maybe, I need to understand

That IÕm on shared time
Maybe this place ainÕt too kind
But IÕll find time,
IÕll find time.

© Copyright 2011 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2011-03-06 06:20 PM


This is a really good poem.
That apostrophe problem takes away from the flow.
However, the content is really good!

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2011-03-06 08:13 PM


I liked this. After I learned to disregard the screwy apostrophes I was on a roll. I also relate. I lived on the mean streets where it wasn't too kind myself.

~ I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die ~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2011-03-07 12:17 PM


ah yes, I have some faded memories myself...wishing they were still thoughts

seems other present things fill the spaces

good writing

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
4 posted 2011-03-07 12:26 PM


Thanks Eric and Jerry...appreciate the comments.  Hope all is well

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
5 posted 2011-03-07 12:27 PM


Thanks, Passing.  Good to hear from you..

Sometimes, the easiest thing to do is fill the uneasiness with other things that make us happy.

Tomer

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