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Karma

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Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams


0 posted 03-02-2011 09:01 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

Karma

I don't know what I did
To deserve loving you...

A purgatory of loathing
Suffocates my heart
Till it chokes like
How an old car
Grasps for sudden animation
In a rusted frozen state

I hope change
will be a good thing this time around...

Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

© Copyright 2011 Juju - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


1 posted 03-02-2011 10:39 PM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

This is just great!

"A purgatory of loathing
Suffocates my heart
Till it chokes like
How an old car
Grasps for sudden animation
In a rusted frozen state"

You get your point across in a powerfully intense manner in this.
Then the last two lines indicate a strain of the tenderness that engulfed you in the first place.

Bravo!

Eric

the writer views a critic like a fire hydrant would view a dog
faithmairee
Senior Member
since 01-05-2011
Posts 1440
Poe Haven, USA


2 posted 03-02-2011 11:54 PM       View Profile for faithmairee   Email faithmairee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit faithmairee's Home Page   View IP for faithmairee

great wonderful poem...i love it

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Elite
since 10-10-2009
Posts 4313
Fair to middlin'


3 posted 03-03-2011 10:18 AM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Lovin' it!
Lori
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 03-12-2008
Posts 5028
by the sea


4 posted 03-03-2011 12:31 PM       View Profile for 2islander2   Email 2islander2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for 2islander2

very clever metaphor, he was not deserving you, thanks for the excellent and very enjoyable poem.

yann
 
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