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Open Poetry #47
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envy of desert
| Open Poetry #47 |
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envy of desert |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
This morning I do not want a coffee Nor of reading a newspaper, I want desert, yellow sand under my feet, a lazy sun Which is carried by camels, I want to see the horizon Behind wild dunes, to hear the wind praying In its church of sand, to leave the door opened to aventure, This morning I do not want a coffee Nor pointless words, I want to look In the mirror of the desert, In this sand with the multiple faces whom I finally look like. |
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| © Copyright 2011 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved | |||
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"I want to look In the mirror of the desert, In this sand with the multiple faces whom I finally look like." ...love this ending--you've made the desert come alive on many levels (and almost made it feel approachable, like a vibrant garden of sand)...nice job |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I's been so cold and rainy here that this desert scene is sounding pretty good, yann. Just kidding, I'm not really a desert person. Must be your skill as a poet. Ida |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Don't you wish we could just order that off a menu and be there! I do. Your poetry does that to me, yann. Thank you. I am off to make coffee. Alison |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Wow, dear Yann, you are incredibly good! Love, Margherita |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thanks a lot Steavenr, the comment is so kind and I enjoyed a lot the details of it... have a nice day yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks Ida for the compliment, I love your poetry too which is always surprising, here I talked about desert to get some solace about agitation around me. have a nice day yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks Alison, I wish I could take a coffee with you and talk about desert and poetry, thanks a lot for th kind comment and the humour. loved it. have a nice day yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks a lot Margherita, you are incredibly good too and your comment is so kind. have a nice day yann |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
fine writing...James |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Yann, this poem is pure magic! I love every single bit of it, but especially the camels, partly because camels are camels, but also because of what you said about them a lazy sun carried by camels such an exquisite, excellent metaphor and so much so succinctly put. Your poem had me forgetting to breathe. This is currently my very favourite of all your poems. Owl |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
what a wonderful poem...the imagery is so vivid and your ending was awesome...great wonderful poem!  There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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twistedpup Member
since 2011-02-25
Posts 115 |
this was a wonderful poem. i enjoied the read. great work. also yes sand feels wonderful between the toes dosent it. *hugs* |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great parody Yann. I hope you find an oasis along the way. Very good writing. Eric the writer views a critic like a fire hydrant would view a dog |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks James for the read and comment. yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Dear Diana, your comment made me ^very happy and grateful, I appreciate very much the way you read my poem and the enthousiasm you put in words...I am humbled by such a comment, It is an honor for me to share with you... have a warm day in your part of the world. yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks faithmairee for the warm comment and beautiful words; I enjoyed a lot. yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks twistedpup for the precious comment and humor. have a nice day yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks Eric for the kind words and the oasis you shared talently. have a nice day yann |
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Mr IambTrochee New Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1 |
Hi 2islander2 and others I was actually just lurking and decided to sign up just to comment on this particular poem (granted I'd only read a handful) But I really enjoyed reading this poem in particular, I seemed to be struck with how the seeming arbitrariness of the subject matter, namely desert and ...coffee, immediately infects the brain with a potent metaphor, which seems to happen faster than the time it takes for brain to process the other devices of the poem, thus the subsequent poetic structure rides on this wave resulting in a much more powerful package. Hats off to you sir |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Lamb Trochee, I am very honored by your warm words and the beautiful comment you wrote, It is the first time I had such a comment and may be the last but it is very kind of you...You are awesome. waiting to read you yann |
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