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steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

0 posted 2011-02-14 11:03 PM

The depths of love in pleasant pathways fresh,
Pristine in virtue’s song and strained by time
As strides of strength and persevering mesh
To one as one in sweet accord sublime.

The heights of love in ecstasy surreal,
Unspoiled by saddened dreams retained or spent
On that which hastens sorrow’s wintry chill
Yet waits in silent calm as love is lent.

The breadth of love in fanciful delight,
Untouched by measurements of mirthlessness
In blissful joys beyond the range of sight
As anguish gives it place to joyfulness

To measure that which cannot measured be,
To tell degrees of all my love for thee.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2011-02-14 11:12 PM

Enjoyed.

(I confess I stumbled a bit on the first line--I kept trying to re-stress the word, "pleasant". Um.

It couldn't be done without my resource of cajun French.)

I found this lovely, as form is refreshing when none is about.

I curtsy.

I thank you.

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

2 posted 2011-02-15 10:05 AM

this is lovely~~~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2011-02-15 10:24 AM

What a beautiful lovesong!

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

4 posted 2011-02-15 01:07 PM

serenity, I must have re-written that one line more times than all the other lines combined...and that word "pleasant" most of all (maybe I embedded the stress of it)

Thank you for noticing the form. I fell in love with poetry 45 years ago (Shakespearean sonnets most of all.) At first, I wrote only sonnets in iambic pentameter abab cdcd efef gg. Every once in a while I find myself just needing to write in form again...thank you

bel1e, thank you kindly (I appreciate it)

Owl, that is such a kind comment...many thanks

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

5 posted 2011-02-15 01:10 PM

A lovely English sonnet (if I am not mistaken). One might try "driv'n-giv'n" for "spent-lent", as I'm not sure love lent isn't fakin'...

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

6 posted 2011-02-15 02:09 PM

easy1, thank you...you are correct on the form...thank you for the suggestion on 'lent', but I used it on purpose based on this definition:

3. add something
transitive verb to give a particular quality or character to something
example: The candles lend an air of intimacy to the room.

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

7 posted 2011-02-15 08:38 PM

Great sonnet (my favorite form). I did not seem to have an issue with "pleasant"; however, "lent" seemed a bit out of place. I understand your reasoning for it though, and within that context, it fits in fine.

Good work.

CG

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

8 posted 2011-02-15 09:32 PM

this is beautiful...i love the last line....great poem

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

9 posted 2011-02-16 04:41 AM

this is beautiful, some words like pleasant and lent are familiar to my french mind...Thanks for the excellent love expression.

yann

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

10 posted 2011-02-16 11:16 AM

CG, thank you for reading and commenting...after I posted my reply as to why I used 'lent' I knew there had to be a deeper reason than a textbook definition (probably more discussion on a single word than the word merits) for why I used that word. I do word studies all the time (I am a pastor & a great fan of the AV King James Bible) so I checked out its usage because I tend to use a lot of phrasing common to that beautiful version of Scripture.

When I did, I realized why 'lent' was so easy for me to use...the Hebrew word that is translated for lend is used mostly for the type of request that expects fulfillment. We can't get that level of nuance in English and though English is an extremely common language, it is just that...common at times.

Forgive me for waxing verbose, and once again, thank you.

Faith, thank you...I wondered if it would make sense...thank you for noticing it

yann, thank you for your 'French perspective'...I always read your work looking for that perspective...always enjoyable

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