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Open Poetry #47
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OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2011-02-10 07:01 PM



FORGIVENESS
10 February 2011

Your almost smile
amongst the fern fronds cool
of a forest-shade day
filtered the wild of summer sun
mild
through leafy ceiling
in gilded pathways
to the forest floor
and your eyes
whispered me
a real hello
and my today-song
lifted my yesterday-shoulders
into tomorrow-birdsong
as sweet and soft and clear
as raindrops
on a dog’s nose.

Owl

© Copyright 2011 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2011-02-10 08:24 PM


The transference from just going through the days in a blah frame of mind, to be uplifted into someone energetic and ready to take on the world was penned excellently.

~ Some people are like a Slinky -- not really good for anything -- but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. ~

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
2 posted 2011-02-11 12:18 PM


this is so lovely...your imagery is wonderful and the ending to your poem just perfect...great wonderful poem, Owl!

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2011-02-11 01:54 AM


Your wonderful way with imagery is unsurpassed, Diana.
                            Ida

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
4 posted 2011-02-11 02:58 AM


..yes, lyrically, lyrically she writes..spiros
-------
-------------

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

5 posted 2011-02-11 03:26 AM


This was fantasic, I really enjoyed it!


graying1
Member
since 2011-02-09
Posts 53
The Commonwealth of VA
6 posted 2011-02-11 06:23 AM


I used to go walking with my dog in the woods, (National forest nearby) and stop to watch sunbeams through the trees.
This reminds me of then
Thanks for reminding me with your wonderful words

Peter

bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

7 posted 2011-02-11 08:07 AM


I love the movement in this....especially of the shoulders lifting up into song....great, great imagery...

xoxoxox

              

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2011-02-11 10:45 AM


Thank you, Jerry for your very kind, appreciative words.  

Thank you, Faith.  I am so glad you enjoyed it so much, especially the ending.  That is my favourite part too.  

Ida, I feel so honoured by your words.

Spiros, I love that you call my writing lyrical.  It is not the first time you have done so, which makes it all the more heart-warming.

Graying1, I loved your memories and would have loved to share those walks if you and your doggy wouldn’t have minded.  I would have walked in silence so as to drink in the little forest sounds and not to have spoilt them for you and your doggy.  I am honoured to have brought back those memories to you.

Thank you, Belle.  I am so glad you enjoyed it so much.

Owl

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2011-02-11 08:58 PM


Owl, this is such an endearing poem, honestly.... the simplicity speaks volumes.
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
10 posted 2011-02-11 11:37 PM


Thank you, Blues.  I am glad you enjoyed it.

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

11 posted 2011-02-12 09:51 PM


I started copying the parts of this I liked best and pasting them into a notepad so I could put them all together when I told you how good this was...then, I took a second look and I had copied and pasted the entire write...so, to save ink...it's all good
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2011-02-13 02:23 AM


It's absolutely beautiful isn't it when those beacons of light filter through the leaves and strike the forest floor?
There's a magic there that will allow the mind to wander through ponders endlessly.

Forgiveness can be a huge personal solace coming home to the heart.

You took me right there and I was uplifted by your being uplifted through the silent beauty into the hope of the next natural event as a blessed human.

Love the dog's nose part.....smile.....

Excellent work Diana!

Eric

in a relationship the me becomes we.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2011-02-13 03:27 AM


Smiles, Steaven.  I am so glad you saved the ink!  Giggles.  And thank you (not just for saving the ink).

Yes, Eric – it is in itself, a proof of God’s existence and his multitudinous gifts.  I am glad you experienced the poem just as I meant it to be experienced.  My little Benji also loved the dog’s nose part.  Cleo is a little put out by it, but she got extra strokes and kisses and cuddles and she purred to show that she was consoled.  

Owl

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
14 posted 2011-02-16 07:40 PM


Thank you, Richy.  I am glad you did.

Owl

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