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Open Poetry #47
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2011-02-05 09:09 PM


Ensemble, they grace the sky:

they dance
they dip
they glide

aloft

by strings of dreams' undreamed belief
an alchemy of Fates to Faith
in discipline they synchronize;
crescendo-beaked they pirhouette
an arrow pointing up--

surprised.

The ballerinas fly glissade
feathers quiver point-star-lights

they'll have to travel through the night

Their flight's re-routed farther south
in search of hospitality...

Good Luck I whisper, shivering.

Warm words cold

hanged

in the air.

I blinked and they were gone before
I could applaud, entreat,

Encore!

* * *

I shrug. I have no offering.
My roses display sanity.
Stubborn - but with dignity -
they stand salute in dormancy.

I bow my head

"To harmony"

We're sacred in a glass tableau.



© Copyright 2011 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
1 posted 2011-02-05 09:43 PM


  You captured a Beautiful picture and tossed in into the sky. I am thinking of something like a snow globe only as a ballerina globe,or fairies ligthting the sky at twilight. I hope they make it to my back yard tonight. What ever you are enjoying thanks for sharing.  jo
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2011-02-05 09:46 PM


Thank you, martyjo. Just a musing from a southerner who watched the birds fly south. er.



I realize I'm probably one of the few who still thinks frost is pretty, too. A luxury of a moment this morning, I know. Thanks for reading.  

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
3 posted 2011-02-05 10:15 PM


"Warm words cold

hanged

in the air."

It is very possible that I am just having a strange moment right now, but these words alone were enough to move me. I cannot tell you why, but they do. Of course, even more beautiful in context. How wonderful it is to read you again

GG


Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
4 posted 2011-02-05 10:25 PM


serenity,
The title, the ending, the middle... but most certainly, your wording weaves a wonder.
Doc

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

5 posted 2011-02-05 10:26 PM


a beautifully sculpted masterpiece...you made it come alive and leave a lasting impression...well done
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
6 posted 2011-02-05 10:39 PM


Serenity I love the  frosted  window panes,and iced branches on trees and bushes.I wish I could send you some photos  that  are on my friends face book sites. Outstanding beauty. But like some other things they are also dangerous and the ice and snow they are living with is almost unbearable.If they also lose electicty they will suffer. WE were lucky because we had a fire place in the  family room and a gas stove to cook on when we lived there. So we were able to keep somehwhat warm and could cook. My neighbors brought me their food  to cook for their meals.It was a bad week.But with what is happening there now. I shutter what this new storm will bring. love you, and I loved that story above. I will watch for the birds.We have everyone's Robins now.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2011-02-05 10:57 PM


Karen...The flyby birds of your poetry, wing into my heart as they came, not from the sky, but from your eye.  
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2011-02-06 05:17 AM


Karen, this is possibly the most beautiful poem I have read in my life - I hated putting in the "possibly" but it is obviously difficult to remember all poetry heard/read in 65 years and 3 months, not counting 9 months in the womb and I try to be completely honest in everything I say, especially to you, who are one of the most honest people I know, so I had to put in the “possibly”.  

Getting back to the poem, when I read it the first time, I thought it was birds, and then you confirmed that in your response.  

Every word, every ballet/musical/emotional/magical/everything-else image, every concept of this poem is beauty that brought me to tears for its beauty alone – in each part of the scene, - just to mention some - the birds, the sky, the roses and what they stand for in your poem, the concepts of stubbornness, reality, sanity, very especially the harmony, and even more especially  the “sacred in a glass tableau”, and most especially the you in it, and also the perfection and sheer guitar-string-quivering excellence of the poem as a whole.  The tears are despite there not being a hint of sadness in it, except for me, a little in the frustration that so few people see such exploding, swirling, dancing, whispered beauty in nature that is right before their eyes.  Thank goodness you did.  Imagine how much poorer all readers of this poem would have been if you hadn’t seen it, written it and posted it!  Thank you seems ludicrously inadequate.

HOWEVER, don’t get me wrong – I love it in the poem, but I have a HUGE problem with the truth of “I have no offering”!!!!!  My God, Karen, if this ain’t an offering then I have no idea of what the word “offering” means!!!  This is a HUGE offering to the birds, the sky, to all nature, to all humanity and the God who created them all.  

Please read my “thank you” as translated into that language you wrote in this poem.

Owl

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
9 posted 2011-02-06 08:08 AM


I'll never look at migrating birds the same again! Beautiful!
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
10 posted 2011-02-06 12:26 PM


I'm back. Finally. New name, slightly altered, but . . . What the hell.

You are the first read since I have rejoined PiP.

This is one of the best I have read of yours, my friend. You captured migration better than any I have ever read. This does not surprise me. Your thought process is unique and deliciously beautiful.

~ Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. ~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2011-02-06 04:48 PM


Wow. You guys are so very generous that I feel quite humble today.

Thank you very much for reading. I love it when I can translate a moment such as this one. It was truly lovely, and I'm also happy that I left out the part about my wet socks and the newspaper in my hand. *laughing*


GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2011-02-06 05:34 PM


I clearly have a facebook addiction because I just read your reply and thought, "I'm going to Like that." So, um, *Like* ...
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2011-02-06 05:38 PM


Giggles, Karen - I am sure if you had put in the part about your wet socks and the newspaper in your hand, it would either have been just as beautiful, if not more so!  Smiles.

Owl

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2011-02-06 11:54 PM


As beautiful and wordsmithed as this is it's no suprise to me. I'm used to your unique observances.

However, put the soft top up all the same.

Eric

in a relationship the me becomes we.

bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

15 posted 2011-02-09 09:08 AM


~~~to harmony~~~~

the images in this are hypnotic, luv~~~

             

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2011-02-09 10:54 AM


And this is where I reach
for serenity.

IWIHWT...

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
17 posted 2011-02-09 12:58 PM


Karen I had to come back to this today as I watch the Robins and others  flitting around the water dish. I am waiting to see what you expressed so beautifully, fly together into my yard. I know they are on the way because you said so,and I believe.  Only you could have written the above. I love it and you more each day. jo
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
18 posted 2011-02-09 01:01 PM


Me too - the coming back - for about the 4th time.

Owl

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
19 posted 2011-02-09 01:35 PM


ms serene..I think frost is the most beautiful decoration a cold beer can wear...and I like your poem
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2011-02-09 05:35 PM


Thanks again for the great responses.

I am not sure why I shy away from posting my more gentle musings, except that I suspect that it tends to make me feel vulnerable.

I don't like feeling vulnerable. (I don't even like admitting that.)

So thanks for your support.

My love to all.

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
21 posted 2011-02-10 03:32 AM


Very neatly composed. Appreciated better on the second time through, but that is my fault.

(LOL, somewhat neater than starlings(?) rushing from in winter maples or robins mobbing an early-fruited dogwood tree during a late cold snap. (Ballerinas, indeed. Like the roses reference, too!)

graying1
Member
since 2011-02-09
Posts 53
The Commonwealth of VA
22 posted 2011-02-10 06:06 AM


I believe there is more here than I
with limited knowledge
can understand.

But I enjoyed the poem
you are a tellented young lady.

PS

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