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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-01-27 07:05 AM

I was leaning on occasional glance elbows
and savoring the sage scent of your afternoon
one with sunsets and sunrises combined careful

it had been a short time since seldom then
that I would find someone like you interesting
with all the glass your skin was within

and the sorrow in your eyes when you smiled
but I was anxious to be impatiently sipping
since you watered my mouth with something distant

like thunder from behind the mountains there
so I waited for eternal moments for your eyes
but you seemed otherwise occupied, counting coins

with those robotic hands of your statuary butterfly

______________

daark

Anoo
Member

since 2011-01-23

Posts 55
UK

1 posted 2011-01-27 09:16 AM

I enjoyed the poem. Read it more than once to decipher the subtle indirect message.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2011-01-27 11:22 AM

dang coins! Sometimes a willing man just can't get the attention he wants.

Beautifull wordsmithing once again DS. A treat to read.

Eric

Forget the Psychiatrists they just find out all about you and sell you back to yourself!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

3 posted 2011-01-27 12:52 PM

anoo...thanks for the read...and welcome to the bluezoo

_______________

et, thanks my friend

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

4 posted 2011-01-27 01:11 PM

I usually try to never pick a favorite phrase from a first line (it's a me thing--don't want someone thinking that I might not have read the entire work...I know, I know)

but just had to on this one:

"occasional glance elbows"

...such an amazing image that creates in my mind...loved another of your excellent writes...thank you for sharing

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2011-01-27 01:13 PM

steavenr, thanks amigo...I appreciate you

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

6 posted 2011-01-27 02:44 PM

I could relate to this. Beautiful.

Owl

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

7 posted 2011-01-27 05:13 PM

The faux images you present are colorful and outstanding. I say faux because of the tainting of the taker of the coins. Sometimes I honestly have trouble with your offerings, DS, but there are time, like now, that the brilliance comes through.

~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. ~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2011-01-27 07:03 PM

Jerry...it's easy to decipher, if
you think like a stranger..

DS? I could only smile. But I believe you
to have a perpetual, albeit slight grin
behind those shades...

Enjoyed, sir, Enjoyed.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2011-01-27 07:56 PM

DS You see further than the outside of people...a good thing, I think. Enjoyed this.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

10 posted 2011-01-28 06:07 AM

ms owlsa..thanks ms

_________________

jp, thanks guy glad you look in on my stuff...sun is right, always think of the prospective as from the eyes of a stranger..

_______________________
ms sun, thanks lady friend...you always are a blessing

______________________

thanks ms martie, I appreciate your glances

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