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Open Poetry #47
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2011-01-27 07:05 AM


I was leaning on occasional glance elbows
and savoring the sage scent of your afternoon
one with sunsets and sunrises combined careful

it had been a short time since seldom then
that I would find someone like you interesting
with all the glass your skin was within

and the sorrow in your eyes when you smiled
but I was anxious to be impatiently sipping
since you watered my mouth with something distant

like thunder from behind the mountains there
so I waited for eternal moments for your eyes
but you seemed otherwise occupied, counting coins

with those robotic hands of your statuary butterfly

______________

daark

© Copyright 2011 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Anoo
Member
since 2011-01-23
Posts 55
UK
1 posted 2011-01-27 09:16 AM


I enjoyed the poem. Read it more than once to decipher the subtle indirect message.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2011-01-27 11:22 AM


dang coins! Sometimes a willing man just can't get the attention he wants.

Beautifull wordsmithing once again DS. A treat to read.

Eric

Forget the Psychiatrists they just find out all about you and sell you back to yourself!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2011-01-27 12:52 PM


anoo...thanks for the read...and welcome to the bluezoo

_______________

et, thanks my friend

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2011-01-27 01:11 PM


I usually try to never pick a favorite phrase from a first line (it's a me thing--don't want someone thinking that I might not have read the entire work...I know, I know) but just had to on this one:

"occasional glance elbows"

...such an amazing image that creates in my mind...loved another of your excellent writes...thank you for sharing

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2011-01-27 01:13 PM


steavenr, thanks amigo...I appreciate you
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2011-01-27 02:44 PM


I could relate to this.  Beautiful.

Owl

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
7 posted 2011-01-27 05:13 PM


The faux images you present are colorful and outstanding. I say faux because of the tainting of the taker of the coins. Sometimes I honestly have trouble with your offerings, DS, but there are time, like now, that the brilliance comes through.

~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.  ~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2011-01-27 07:03 PM


Jerry...it's easy to decipher, if
you think like a stranger..

DS? I could only smile. But I believe you
to have a perpetual, albeit slight grin
behind those shades...

Enjoyed, sir, Enjoyed.


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2011-01-27 07:56 PM


DS  You see further than the outside of people...a good thing, I think.  Enjoyed this.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2011-01-28 06:07 AM


ms owlsa..thanks ms

_________________

jp, thanks guy glad you look in on my stuff...sun is right, always think of the prospective as from the eyes of a stranger..

_______________________
ms sun, thanks lady friend...you always are a blessing

______________________

thanks ms martie, I appreciate your glances

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