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Open Poetry #47
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OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2011-01-26 01:48 PM



SOLITARY CIRCLE
26 January 2011

It is the path ahead
fed with memory-alones
stones white
flight-marking
ring flowers
bowers green
seen desolate.

Owl

© Copyright 2011 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved
The_Doctors_Angel_32
Member
since 2011-01-14
Posts 337
Florida, USA
1 posted 2011-01-26 02:18 PM


Very beautifully written. I could feel the aloneness in the words. I truly enjoyed the read!!!

When the family is together, the soul is at peace - Russian Proverb


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2011-01-26 04:46 PM


Wonderful list of reflections that display acceptance yet yearning for something more.....Oh, you're good!

Eric

Forget the Psychiatrists they just find out all about you and sell you back to yourself!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
3 posted 2011-01-26 05:17 PM


Thank you, Julie for your kind words and for feeling my poem so well.

Thank you, Eric, for understanding my poem so well.  I am honoured.  

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2011-01-26 09:33 PM


I love how you play off the last words of each line with the beginning words of each following one...but, I have to admit...I'm going to have to go back a few more times to 'get it' on the content...
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
5 posted 2011-01-26 10:38 PM


quite an interesting 'write' !

(about feelings all too familiar)

Very well 'penned' indeed!!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2011-01-27 12:53 PM


Thank you for noticing the rhyme pattern, Steaven.  It was more important for me that somebody notice that, than interpret the content.  Thank you for caring about the content.  What I was referring to was old age alone with memories and a flowerbed surrounded by white stones and a green bower with nobody else there.

[The flowerbed at my horse’s grave has its perimeter marked with white stones, but it isn’t in the shape of a circle – it is in the shape of a heart.]

Thank you, Bruce for your always kind words.  They are much appreciated.

Owl

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2011-01-27 06:42 PM


There is a lot going on in this simple and elegant poem of yours, Diana. Sadness, longing, but also strength and somehow a trace of anticipation in spite of it all.

Excellent piece.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2011-01-27 07:00 PM


For some reason, desolate, for me,
would be a wilted brown...because
green, for me, brings life...

but still? I see this...and it is good,
and sad.


OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
9 posted 2011-01-28 10:51 AM


Thank you Karen, for your very lovely comments on my poem.  I am very honoured.  You “get” what it’s about completely.  

Thank you Karilea.  Personal desolation amid life abundant is desolation indeed.

Owl

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