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Open Poetry #47
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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2011-01-24 09:03 AM


Been feeling a bit psychotic
These daze
They come like déjà vu
Ghosts glimpses twinges
Red flags and herrings

Divided bipolar ying yanging
Full pendulum swing
Trying to believe
I’ve filled my double chin
With wisdom and superstition
Not fear and humiliation

Wisdom tells me
We’ve been around this block before
Superstition listens
Pays attention

I discuss it among my selves

A multiple choice
Semester exam
With essays on morality
True / false on reality

Spring cleaning soul search inventory
Assets debits
Options
Reorganization diversification intoxication liquidation
Repetition
Intuition
Circles cycles orbits
Laws of nature
That brings the pendulum to a stop
Dead center

And until that day
It will pass and linger
A little more each way
Coming closer bit by bit
Ups and downs dwindling with momentum
Sliding with the sand through the vortex
Of the cerebral cortex and synaptic activity

I recognize my sanity
Each time it passes by
I smile and wave
We chat a bit
About winter coming
And time for conversations
About growing old and going crazy
(repost)

© Copyright 2011 Lori Grosser Rhoden - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
1 posted 2011-01-24 10:03 AM


A lot to take in here, Lori. You used your words very effective and colorful. When we began to  self-analysis ourself's all too often we only analysis what doesn't need to be searched out. It seems that in your case, and this poem, you sacrifice yourself to your words.

~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.  ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2011-01-24 10:11 AM


Thanks for the in depth comment Jerry.  What you think is important to me.
Lori

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2011-01-24 11:53 AM


this is so good in so many ways...hate to even pick a favorite part, but if I had to, this would be it:

"Trying to believe
I’ve filled my double chin
With wisdom and superstition
Not fear and humiliation"

...many nods of agreement, smiles and lots of pleasure in reading this one...aw shucks, I will just have to go back and read it again...a task I shall welcome

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2011-01-24 12:02 PM


I absolutely loved this, Lori.  I loved the blend of the mega-serious and the hilariously funny.  I particularly enjoyed you discussing it among yourselves and every word of the last stanza where you recognised your sanity every time it passes and then chatting with it!  I was in fits of laughter at these parts, but recognise and respect the seriousnes of other parts.  

You have inspired me to repost my "Look Ma, No Mind" and "Forced Consciousness" although the latter is less similar in meaning, but has some similarities in technique.  

You are an excellent poet, but I think this is my favourite of all those of yours that I have read.

Owl

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
5 posted 2011-01-24 03:49 PM


quote:
I discuss it among my selves


lol, thats my favorite line, and like Owl, this is my favorite piece from your collection. I thoroughly enjoyed this read, there is a quirkiness to this with some in depth thoughts. *added to library*
I'm never disappointed when I click on your offerings to these blue pages. Always a pleasure.

-Trina
You better believe that my sarcasm could piss a happy meal off.

The_Doctors_Angel_32
Member
since 2011-01-14
Posts 337
Florida, USA
6 posted 2011-01-24 05:11 PM


This is awesome. It was like getting ready for a test. I loved multiple choice ones because I would always ace them most of the time.

When the family is together, the soul is at peace - Russian Proverb


Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
7 posted 2011-01-24 09:43 PM


Steven, Owl,Trina and The_Doctors_Angel_32-

Thank you all so much for your amazing response to this poem!  It is an older piece of mine that I wrote when I was still a "closet" poet. So I am especially glad that you "got it".
Lori

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2011-01-25 11:51 AM


Came back to enjoy this again!  

Owl

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2011-01-25 11:57 AM


When one can acknowledge one's personal
habits, then you know you're reading
something good.


Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
10 posted 2011-01-25 12:17 PM


Thanks Owl!

--------------------------------------------

Sunshine-

Lori

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