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Open Poetry #47
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gdcod3player
Member
since 2009-09-13
Posts 70
California

0 posted 2011-01-11 02:20 AM


I laugh at what everyone says
The heart i want couldn't be any farther away
Your name feels my dreams
You are real in a dream that wont come
Let my broken heart be everything i have to pay
I feel a sense of hope
I dont know if you see everything
The heart thats open right now
Please save me in a moment
Please keep pushing me until i have understood
Your heart is for someone else right now

© Copyright 2011 Jared Copeland - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2011-01-11 02:34 AM


Jared
Well done! Getting those broken hearted feelings across are not always easy but you've done it here.
The hope line is the future turn a round and I like how you put it in there amidst the trauma.

Eric

Siamese twins move to England so the other one can learn how to drive!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2011-01-11 08:25 AM


Great write and your last line was a surprise.
Lori

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
3 posted 2011-01-11 10:28 PM


nice work...very powerful ending...i like it!

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

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