Legend of an Aged Woman's Face (Senryu)

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Legacy
Member

since 2011-01-08

Posts 60
Louisiana

0 posted 2011-01-09 07:54 AM

Sunrise is lovely
As is a young and fresh face
Fresh beauty bursting.

Freckles and pigtails
Awkward in mama's high heels
Learning lipstick blot.

Budding of young breasts
Legs tapering out showcase
Face of teen virtue.

Hot breath in his ear
The honeymoon is so sweet
Marriage face gorgeous.

A mask of pain now
Pushing for delivery
Beaming face for son.

The grandbabies come
A delight to her, oh yes
It shows in her smile.

A melting pot will mix
The good along with the bad
Her face reflects that.

The beauty of her
Is a meshing of secrets
Happiness, joy, and true love.

As her journey ends
Sadness overcome with bliss
See, her death mask smile.

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

1 posted 2011-01-09 08:14 AM

This is really good.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Legacy
Member

since 2011-01-08

Posts 60
Louisiana

2 posted 2011-01-09 08:24 AM

Thanks, XGarapanX, for your nice comment.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2011-01-09 09:58 AM

A beautiful way to convey life's different phases. It's true, everything reflects in our faces, eyes, wrinkles, expressions.

That you see this woman smiling in the moment of transition is wonderfully uplifting.

I have already lived through all these stages ... except the last

. I can relate therefore to your very sensitive series of senryu!

Welcome to Pip!

Margherita

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

4 posted 2011-01-09 10:29 AM

Ah, you paint her journey well. Enjoyed.

-Trina.

When you decide to walk away- walk away. Don't look back, In that moment you'll lose trust and faith- in yourself.

incwrite
Member

since 2010-12-31

Posts 55
new york

5 posted 2011-01-09 10:47 AM

this is very good.

incwrite
Member

since 2010-12-31

Posts 55
new york

6 posted 2011-01-09 10:56 AM

exquisitely said about the changes of ones life..

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

7 posted 2011-01-09 01:28 PM

very nicely done...the images your words painted in my mind were vivid and colorful...this is a wonderful poem!

faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Legacy
Member

since 2011-01-08

Posts 60
Louisiana

8 posted 2011-01-09 01:42 PM

Margherita, I am most appreciative of your words, especially one who can, in reality, associate with my effort.

Thank you Trina, for your kind comments.

You also, incwrite. Much obliged for both comments.

faith, what can I say. I am honored.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

9 posted 2011-01-09 06:21 PM

you've expressed the visages of life's passages beautifully...was surely a pleasure to read

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

10 posted 2011-01-09 07:59 PM

Excellent work here. The way the face ages along with the poem and the life cycles is very imaginative and the final stanza is just a perfect ending....love it.

Legacy
Member

since 2011-01-08

Posts 60
Louisiana

11 posted 2011-01-09 08:13 PM

Happy to hear that you liked the sequence of senryu' steavenr.

Balladeer, your comments gave me pleasure to read. Thank you.

A black cat ran in front of me tonight. I'm not worried. they don't bother Warlocks

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