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Open Poetry #47

tears never disappoint

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2011-01-06 11:49 AM

She cried for the first time
The first time, in a long time
Her hair somewhat undone
Covering the pillow right beside her

Her ankles kind of turned away,
Away from her large seal window
Her toes not too far behind

Her white tanktop
Covering her breasts
Below, she was naked
With her legs bearing the fall of her tears

She took her hands
Wiping each eyelash off,
Each remaining sign of her pain

For the halls were too long
Her heart was unearthing her mistakes

ÒDonÕt ever leave me, againÓ
Echoed around the doors of her wooden template

Her black heels, untouched,
Stowed away in the back of her closet.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2011-01-06 01:01 PM

Tomer

Intriguing piece of work here.
I'm enjoying the ambiguity of the scene and the images are strong word pictures.

ÒDonÕt ever leave me, againÓ
Are these part of the Frenglish language?
Grave, acutes, and what's that sqiggly one?

I enjoyed this very interesting piece.

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

2 posted 2011-01-06 01:10 PM

great imagery in this unique poem...nice job!

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

3 posted 2011-01-06 06:29 PM

some people need/deserve a good cry once in a while ... very descriptive writing

enjoyed

DrinaLove
Junior Member

since 2010-12-23

Posts 30
California

4 posted 2011-01-06 09:06 PM

Been there ..done that..nicely done

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

5 posted 2011-01-07 04:29 PM

Thanks Eric and Faith...hope all is well

Cheers

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

6 posted 2011-01-07 04:30 PM

Rex, I agree....emotions are our strongest suit. No need to let them stay dormant within us.

Thanks Drina, happy you enjoyed

Cheers

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